THE MOST HORRIFIC TALE YOU MAY EVER HEAR (PART 3!)

So yeah, I realise that these are becoming a bit of a regular feature on my blog and I had never expected that when I wrote of my first unimaginably horrific experience that it would end up being the first part of a trilogy. However, today’s tale is TRULY stomach-turningly atrocious! I’m still shivering with the thought!

Anyway, let me paint the scene: I have these past few days been suffering with flu/chest infection/malaria (doctors opinion is second and third options, my opinion is just the first 2!). Anyway, yesterday morning I stumbled out of bed, half asleep and in a fragile state. I went into the bathroom and started washing my face. However, after a few seconds I stopped. “This soap smells a bit….funky” I thought. I opened my eyes to look at the soap…(brace yourselves, some of you may even need a bucket close at hand, cos this is rank!)…the soap had poo all over it! Splurgghhhhh!! Can you imagine? Truly, unimaginably, awfully, horrendously NASTY!

Now some of you may be wondering why? Well we have some of the youngest of the White Eagles staying with us in Bwala at the moment. Some of their toilet habits leave a little bit to be desired! I’m guessing one of them forgot that there’s such a thing as toilet paper, used their hand to wipe their batty and then washed their hands….badly!!!

Anyway, at that exact moment in time I wasn’t thinking about questions like why? I was just dumb-struck in horror. And in that moment of silent disgust, a tune came into my mind. Some of you may remember back in the day, summertimes at revival camp, and the legendary game that Timothy and Co. came up with in the youth tent entitled “Poo in your Face!” Others with good memories may even remember the theme tune that accompanied it (sung, nay, screamed to the chords from Nirvana’s ‘smells like teen spirit!” You know…the one we screeched at top volume and had people rush in from the main tent to shut us up cos they were having a “spiritual moment” in the big top and all they could hear was us screaming about Poo in your face! Yeah, you remember! The very same game that we were banned from playing because some idiotic father thought we were using real poo! Now you’re with me!) So yes, as I stood there stupefied in horror, all I could hear was this tune: “Poo in your face, Poo in your face, Poo in your face, Poo in your face, AHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHH digga digga digga digaa POO IN YOUR FACE!”

Ahhhh, Uganda! Never fails to throw up some interesting situations!! Gotta love it really, albeit in a sometimes horrifying way!

p.s. a little note regarding the picture that accompanies this post: What ever happened to all those old skool joke shops that were around in the 80s? If anyone knows of any in the South East London area please let me know!

OPERATION A.R.K

(Imagine the theme tune to mission impossible starting….) Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to grab your paintbrushes, spades, brooms and food boxes and to go and bless the people of Mabera. Clean their streets, paint their houses and shops, feed those most in need, pray for their needs and have a right good laugh whilst you’re at it! THIS is OPERATION A.R.K!!

So last week 25 youth (with a few willing adults and kids thrown into the mix) hit the streets of Mabera (a run down part of Nyendo) as part of Operation A.R.K (Acts of Random Kindness). This is a vision that Julius and I as youth leaders have had for some time and finally we’re making it a reality! It’s basically a Soul in The City Style mission, and the wonderful thing is that there is never any need to think up ideas of what to do because the need is everywhere, starring you in the face!

So we painted peoples’ houses and shops (and each other!), cleaned the streets, gave food boxes to the poorest families and showed them the love of Jesus! They were blessed, some were saved, one old lady has even joined our church and this is only just the beginning!! Watch this space!!! BRAP!!

ADVENTURES IN THE JUNGLE!

Well, the White Eagles have worked long and hard all term and have finally reached their holidays. In order to reward them for their efforts we decided “what better way for them to enjoy a well deserved break than to set them to work clearing the jungle that is Kibaya Farm!”

Now of course I’m hamming it up - I don’t want you to think we’re using these boys for slave labour! And the truth is its been fantastic fun! Give a group of lads a pile of machetes and a load of bush to clear and we can keep ourselves very happy for hours!! And of course this being Uganda, the work is generously interspersed with long ‘tea breaks’, ‘banter breaks’, ‘posing with machetes breaks’, ‘sitting down for no other reason than we’re a bit tired breaks’ and so on!!



So for 3 days, myself and 15 of the lads would spend the day happily hacking away and then head off to Bwala for a slap up meal, a chat with the Duncan and Mary about burning issues like money, integrity and sex and then hit the hay!

And of course Uganda is a country of true adventure and indeed these days had their share of incidents! We’ve had some exciting encounters with snakes and most excitingly with a small dragon (well, a humongous monitor lizard actually and I have to be honest and tell you that we encountered this not at the farm whilst hacking the jungle, but in Bwala atop a rubbish pile!) Anyway, lets not get tied up in technicalities, as you can see from the photo it was the size of a small alligator. I must say at that moment I could have been likened to a small child who’s had far too much sugar and gets so excited that he then wees in his pants a little bit! (Although let me state for the record that I did manage to stay dry – but only just!!)



All in all a thoroughly fantastically excellent 3 and a half days really! Machetes, snakes, dragons, large amounts of matoke, chats about Sex and even a bit of football in the garden with jumpers for goalposts! What more could a boy want?! Life is good!