We'll Take the Narrow Road..

It has been some time since I updated you on the progress of Synergy. As we are now underway in our first season in the Buganda Regional League perhaps now is a good time!

On the field we have been seeing the fruits of our labours where hard work in training has translated to 10 points from our first 5 games, leaving us a point off the top of the table, in second position. Our efforts have even led to our first ever coverage in one of the main Ugandan newspapers!

We had also been moving along nicely in the Armoured Brigade Cup, the tournament organised by the army and which some of you might remember us winning last year (despite the army having been so confident that they had already made themselves a congratulatory cake and printed their “winners” certificates!). Having reached the semi final against this very same army team earlier this month, we were then subjected to what must be one of the most ludicrously one sided refereeing performances since the 1981 film “Escape to Victory” (anyone remember it??), and not only once but TWICE!

Escape to Victory, Refereeing at it's worst!

I recollect this simply to help you understand the state of football in Uganda, and show you why our mission to be “salt and light” and a team of integrity in the Pearl of Africa is so necessary!

 So, Take One involved a match strewn with disallowed goals for no conceivable reason, yellow cards brandished every time our players even touched the opposition, and the ref shaking his head and waving away protests from our players when they were hacked down mercilessly as if they were extras in a Bruce Lee movie! That match finished 0-0 and as we prepared for penalties, confident in the fact that at least then there would be a level playing field, we were instead informed that there would be a rematch instead. Ridiculous!

Take Two came a week later, which was just enough time for the army team to bring in some other new and unregistered players to bolster their team (completely against their own rules of course). After a patronising lecture to our players about the need to exercise discipline (HA!!), the match started. Who was the ref? Surely not the same clown who they brought the week before despite our strong protests about his performance after the game? But of course! Back he strolled onto the pitch, no doubt with a wad of shillings fresh from some army commanders bribing fingers, to bring an even more biased performace (quite a feat considering what we had witnessed the week before!).

Out came the yellow cards again, wielded at regular intervals before he obviously felt that yellow was no longer in fashion, and red was in season instead. This interspersed with an army goal, celebrated only when the linesman seemed to suffer a severe stroke, thereby disabling him from raising his arm for what was a clear offside, meant that we were 1-0 down and reduced to only 9 players.

Still we pushed forward like a flood, pinning them back in search for the equaliser, only to be stopped abruptly, before time, by the “final” whistle, putting an end to this comical affair.

When all is said and done, myself and Brian take heart from the fact that such discipline and spirit was maintained by our lads in the face of such adversity. We often say that you learn more when you lose than when you win, and in this case we have certainly learnt that all the teaching we are drilling into our lads about attitude, team spirit, integrity and respect are all hitting the mark! 

So thanks Armoured Brigade, for allowing our boys to shine, and whilst you continue to bribe your way to self glorification, our lads will be walking the narrow road!   

PS. On a completely different note, Sarah saw little baby Survivor today (see 2 blogs previous), whose maama had brought her for review,  and was delighted to see a quality double chin forming on her!

Baby to the rescue!

Anyone who has driven with Tim before will be shocked by the story that follows.   On the way to Kampala to see the breast doc (for Sarah, not Tim!) this morning, Tim became distracted and drove a little over the speed limit.  Since Tim normally drives like he’s driving Miss Daisy, he is really the least likely suspect for an offense of this kind.  Rounding the corner, we encountered a police officer holding a speed gun.  With dread, Tim pulled over, to be told that he could choose between a fine of 200,000 UGX or a court appearance on Monday (presumably with a fine as well).  Whilst the officer was waiting for the fine book to come, he asked what we did in Masaka.  Sarah took this opportunity to explain her role as a doc in Kitovu, as well as being Maama Noah, and unexpectedly the officer said: “But can I punish the parents of this baby?”.  Cue Noah looking very cute and smiling at the traffic officer. The answer to that, we assumed would be, “yes!” but in fact he decided to let us go, adding that he also felt it was good to show mercy to doctors just in case he ever ended up in need of medical attention.  Do we feel guilty at having exploited the cuteness of our son to get us out of a bind?  What do you reckon??!!  

Naughty Naughty!

Having spent two hours in the doctors’ surgery this lunchtime, Sarah is now officially a pin cushion, as her right breast was pricked, not one, not two, not three, but eleven times, by the doctor trying to aspirate fluid from a lump.  She was very (ok, sort-of) brave throughout, but when the lump was finally drained, did slightly burst into tears of relief.  Good news: it’s just milk, so nothing to worry about! 

Tuff Tits!

Since our last blog, the power has really been trying our patience, so apologies if we have been slow at replying to any emails.  This may last for a while as the grasshopper (Nsenene) season is upon us, which entails the delights of having our power diverted to grasshopper-catching contraptions.  Still, it means an excellent new protein source for Noah to enjoy!

Now anyone who has been reading this blog may now be fairly well versed with the fact that we are not strangers to animal fiascos.  And it turns out that our chicken names were once again prophetic.  The person that gave us Mr Loverman came around and quizzically asked: “is that the chicken I gave you?”.  When we replied that it was, she then broke the news that it appears that she is, in fact, a cockerel.  Noooooooooo!  So we’re preparing either for early morning cockledoodledoodling or for a very tasty chicken curry.  Since Sarah opened the holy tin of thai green curry paste yesterday, the need to use up every last bit of the contents may prevail!

Silly cock!

Another night, another attempted break-in, so this means, dear readers, that we may end up getting another dog for security.  I hope you are braced and ready for tales of puppy joy and chaos that may follow!

It’s not all been trial and tribulation in Casa del Crow.  We have had two lovely trips to the lake for fish and chips, one of which was an overnight trip.  Noah enjoyed the sunshine, and we enjoyed the relaxation!

Oh we do love to be beside the lakeside!

 Things we’ve learnt about parenting the hard way...

#5: when you lift your sweet son over your head, avoid opening your mouth – a mouthful (and yes, we do mean a mouthFULL) of baby saliva is less appealing than it sounds!

Things we’ve learnt about UGANDA the hard way...

#1: If your toast tastes a little “funky”, trust your instincts.  We didn’t, and only after chowing down our toast for a number of days did we find a stinking half decayed gheko inside the toaster.  Mmmmmmm!

Our Toaster incident adds to our other experiences with  decaying reptiles!

Beating The Odds...

Sometimes encouragement comes just at the right time, and with all the recent upheaval in the Baby Unit, Sarah was definitely in need of encouragement.  Meet Survivor. 

Her mother came to Kitovu Hospital at 27 weeks gestation.  What you need to know is that in Uganda, the official “survival age” for babies is 28 weeks gestation, therefore any baby born below that is called an “inevitable miscarriage”.  Their mothers aren’t even given steroids by doctors (giving the mother steroids helps the unborn baby’s lungs to develop), as after all “what’s the point” if they’re going to die anyway, right?

Survivor’s mother reasonably asked whether she could go home – she would rather be in her own surroundings if this baby was inevitably going to die.  Our baby unit nurses encouraged her and counselled her that some of these babies CAN survive.  So she stayed and gave birth to 1.08kg Survivor.  Survivor is now a month old.  Yes, of course, there was more than encouragement involved – there was a glucose infusion to keep her going when she couldn’t start to feed initially, a tube to help her mother give her expressed breast milk, antibiotics to prevent infection, medicine to help prevent her from stopping breathing, and warmth (via our overhead warmers, the Embrace sleeping bags, and mum herself doing kangaroo care).  But actually the thing that I am most proud of is our nurses taking the time to encourage a confused and scared mother, and thereby save a little baby from actually being the “inevitable miscarriage” that she was declared to be!  She is very well-named, isn’t she?

As well as an “inevitable miscarriage”, we also have an “intrauterine foetal death” on our unit!  After midwives couldn’t hear her heart beat, they told her mother that she had died.  I can’t imagine how distraught that poor mother must have been, especially since this was her seventh pregnancy, of which she had lost all but one baby.  Two days later, by caesarean section, doctors were a bit taken aback when this little baby was born alive, if in poor condition.  Amazingly, though, she is doing really well, and is even breastfeeding!  So here’s to babies beating the odds this month!

On other Baby Unit news, Sarah, and her trusty side-kick Baby Noah, have been continuing in their work to train all the midwives from the Maternity Ward in neonatal resuscitation, newborn care, and the workings of the Baby Unit.  However, staffing has really been a challenge over the past couple of weeks, which has prompted a number of strategic discussions.  It has been agreed that we should hire another nurse to be based permanently on the Baby Unit with Head Nurse Cathy, with the rest of the staffing offered by the newly trained (and certified.... yup, they have a practical and written test to be sure they’re up to scratch) midwives who rotate through the unit for a month at a time.  Since some of the midwives were unable to calculate a heart rate correctly in their tests (!!), the pool of midwives eligible to work on the Unit is quite small, but growing!

In addition, we’ve had an influx of exciting new Baby Unit equipment brought by visitors, and have got a new oxygen saturation monitor (the previous one having headed to that fluffy place in the sky), neonatal monitors, and a number of other treats that we’re enjoying putting into action.  So THANK YOU SO MUCH to Joy, Jo, Jan and Tracey!

Meanwhile, on a course last week, Sarah was somewhat baffled at the large number of new “facts” that she learnt from their (non-medical) trainer in the “health” module.  New revelations included....

·       You can catch sexually transmitted infections from toilet seats

·       You can figure out if you are pregnant with a girl or a boy depending on your age and the month you fell pregnant in

·       Family planning causes disabled children

·       Milk causes cancer

... and a whole host of other factoids which can only be described as twaddle. 

Hilariously, when Sarah decided to object as the presentation of spina bifida was being totally incorrectly described, the trainer looked at her and basically implied, reminiscent of Ron Burgundy (a.k.a. Anchor Man), that we should “agree to disagree”.  In HIS experience, he said, this was how it presented.  I guess 16 years of medical training and work doesn’t match up to his case study of 2 individuals!!!!

Things we’ve learnt about parenting the hard way...

#4: if you stand cooing over your naked son, there’s a decent chance you will get pee in your eye.  Normal saline is a far better eye irrigation fluid (though it doesn’t make as good a story).