Tournament Update 4: White Eagles Bombastical Bredrins: 3 Machester Youngsters: 1

Match Report: The Bredrins enter the match knowing that thanks to other results in Group B, they have already qualified for the quarter finals. They also know that a another solid win would put them top of the group with an easier draw for the quarters.

The first half is a scrappy affair and the Bredrins are struggling to play the flowing football for which they are known. Of note, however, is one moment of individual skill from the star striker Serunjoje who flicks the ball over a defender and volleys the ball into the top right hand corner. Half time arrives and the score is 1-0.

Into the second half and the quality of football is better with some good passing from both teams. As Manchester push for the equaliser they are caught on the break and Serunjoje once again collects the ball to coolly finish for 2-0.

It would be easy now for the Bredrins to kill the game off but to their credit Manchester take it up a gear and a powerful Roonyesque run from midfield leads to a well earned goal. Machester are starting to look like their namesake.

The Bredrins however push to make the game safe and do so 10 minutes from time after a goal mouth scramble is finished off by Sekanjako. The game finishes 3-1, the Bredrins qualify top and it’s a hearty slaps on the backs all round.

Tournament Update 3 - White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation: 6 Ssenyange Seniors: 1

Match Report: After an emphatic win against Red Hottage the Dappers are in high spirits as they take the field. However they expect a tougher test against the burly Ssenyange team.

Lubyayi is cut down on the left. He swings the ball into the back post where it is met by the firm head of Fred who sees the ball rocket into the top corner for 1-0 and his first goal of the tournament.

Again the Dappers passing and movement is a wonder to behold, a move up the left is finished of by Javira and after just 11 minutes the Dappers are 2-0 up!

on 20 minutes Ssenyange is cut in half by a perfect ball from Blick. Yassin collects it having beaten the offside trap, rounds the keeper and slots home to take it to 3-0.

As the second half begins it's clear that Ssenyange are getting more frustrated, every time they get the ball their attack breaks down thanks to the solid defensive work of the Dappers back line. As Ssenyange push forward they are caught on the break and Yassin gets his second of the game with another good strike. 4-0.

Frutration has turned to anger and Ssenyange tempers are hot. As Crow dances past 2 players a third comes storming in to cut him down from behind. The crowd are insensed and a cheer goes up as the ref brandishes the yellow card. However, after a further 2 bad challenges in as many minutes and with Ssenyange supporters chanting "we want to see the colour of his blood" Crow wisely removes himself from the action.

Mid way through the second half and Ssenyange finally have something to cheer about. A dubious penalty decision is given for a handball that never existed. They score to bring it back to 4-1 but the Dappers aren't worried.

Rightly so as 2 minutes later Roy, on for Crow, sprints up the wing gathers a ball from midfield to leave a defender floundering. He smacks the ball past the static keeper into the bottom corner. 5-1.

The will of Ssenyange is broken now and there's still time for the Dappers to rub salt into the wounds which they do withot mercy. A strike from Javira gives him his second goal in the last minute.

The Dappers have scored 6 again and have qualified for the semis with a match to spare. They are rewarded later that night with extra portions of posho and beans. Blaps!!

Tournament Update 2 - White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation: 6 Red Hottage Seniors: 0

Match Report: The Line up for the Dappers is quite different from last year as they are plagued with injuries and lingering malaria. Thanks to a change in rules for the senior competition from an age limit to a weight and height index limit the veteran Crow comes into the mix to start on the right wing. Also Fred has recruited some of his friends on loan from Masaka Secondary School including the legendary Blick, Walu and Javira.

The match begins with some beautiful 2 touch football from the Dappers leaving the Red Hottage team chasing shadows. A Red Hottage defender is put under pressure and passes the ball back to his keeper who picks the ball up without thinking. Back Pass. Lubyayi Steps up to blast the ball into the net and after just 10 minutes it's 1-0.

The 2nd is not long in coming as the ball is passed from wing to wing culminating in a well weighted ball through to Javira who slots home number 2.

Red Hottage try to settle and get a hold on the game but the Dappers passing is in a class of its own. Just before half time another slick move sees Walu push up from left back to place the ball neatly into the corner. 3-0.

The second half begins and the Dappers are enjoying their football. Sensing the chance of a rout they coninue to push forward and Crow skins 2 players on the right before slotting the ball to Lubyayi who crosses for Blick to blast home. The crowd goes wild. 4-0.

Walu then gets his second of the game on 49 minutes with a mazy run, who could believe he's a defender! The Dappers are really teaching Red Hottage a footballing lesson! Finally with 8 minutes remaining Blick once again finishes off a series of incisive passes with a tap in. The score is 6-0, the rout is complete and here endeth the lesson!

Tournament Update 1 - White Eagle Bombastical Bredrins: 2 Blackstars: 0

Match Report: The White Eagle Bombastical Bredrins (junior team) line up against a strong Blackstars team full of promising young talent. However the Blackstars aren't the only team with talented players and the Bredrins take control of the match from the whistle with slick passing and good posession.

However, for all the posession clear cut chances are few and far between. That is until the the 31st minute when Serunjoje is bundled over just outside the box. Up steps Umalu to place the ball into the bottom left corner with the keeper left grasping at thin air. 1-0.

Into the second half and within 3 minutes a rasping shot from James is handled by the Blackstars central defender. "Penalty" is the cry form the stands and a cheer goes up as the ref obliges. Umalu steps up to the mark and dispaches the ball into the bottom right hand corner. 2-0.

From there on in it's a matter of whether the score will only remain at 2. In the end it does and the Bredrins retire after a solid performance and good opening win.

The Tournament Begins!!

Welcome my friends to this years electronic coverage of the LMC Confederations Cup of Masaka 2007! One of the main reasons I haven't been in contact over the last month has been the rigorous preparations that have gone into staging this tournament.

I'll say no more except look out for updates on our matches. Enjoy!!

I Hope y'all Enjoyed your Christmas Turkey!!

Well my bredrins and sistrins may I wish you a rather belated happy christmas and a happy new year!

Christmas here was rather strange in 35 degree celcius heat - I felt distinctly unchristmasy. For breakfast that day we had the special treat of matoke and g'nut sauce (yes - for breakfast!) but the best was yet to come! As you lot were tucking into your turkey, roast tatties, roast veg, pigs in blankets, gravy, mince pies, christmas pudding and custard I was enjoying the very christmas like meal of sausage, egg, beans and chips!! (See pictures) Can you imagine! I was told by many people I would have to make sacrifices as a missionary - they weren't wrong!

Anyway, I did enjoying being with all the White Eagle Children, Workers and Duncan and Mary. In the morning some of us visited the local hosital to give out some food and drink and pray for the sick. It was quite and eye opener and to be honest made me realise how lucky we all are - therefore I suppose I shouldn't really complain about my Christmas meal!

I hope you all have a seriously bombastical and blessed 2007!

And the winner is....

Well, can you imagine that the winner of this Banzai challnege is in fact my very own parents! The answer was in fact (b) goats intestines.

I have enjoyed both flying ants and grasshoppers since being here and as for the rat poo, I discovered it half way through tucking into a plate of noodles! Nice! By the way with respect to the rats we've now killed 5, the last of which I discovered on my bed! However the fat mama rat which we haven't caught yet must be gettin jiggy cos there always seems to be more baby rats. I think we'll have a tribal dance around its body when we finally catch the retched ting!

Banzai 2006 Continues...

Welcome to this edition of Banzai Uganda. Today's challenge is very simple. The question is: which of the following 4 things has Rabu NOT had as part of his diet whilst in Uganda?
(a) Rats poo
(b) Goats Intestines
(c) Fried Termites
(d) Fried Grasshoppers

All 4 have accompanying photos above. The winner will simply be the first with the corret answer! This weeks prize is the princely sum of TEN SHILLINGS!!!! Blaps.

What's the Best Way To Catch a Rat?

Those who have been reading my previous blogs will know that me and the boys have not been the only residents at the boys home. The family of rats however is now minus 2 thanks to Ugandan inginuity! It's simple really, get a dead fish, put it on a piece of cardboard, then smother the cardboard with strong glue. Hey presto - 12 hours later 2 of the little critters found themselves in a sticky situation! Rat stew anyone?

And The Winner Is....

Well my friends, the answer to this little Banzai challenge is in fact that I had the pleasure of travelling in such a car with 11 people (although I'm sure you could possibly get more in!). Including me that is 12 so therefore cousin Jonathan - Well done bredrin! You can choose from the Banzai challenge above which of the 4 delicacies you would like as a prize!!!

To explain: 2 in the drivers seat, 2 adults and 1 child in the passenger seat, and 6 in the back (1 of them a child) sitting on each others laps! How I love Uganda!!

Your Second Challenge – Banzai 2006 Ugandan Stylee

Welcome to Banzai 2006 my friends! In respect of my former days with Mr Andru Keel at the Forest Hill Community Church massive, Banzai returns, and this time with a Ugandan flavour.

The first challenge is to guess how many people can fit into the taxi in the photo and then travel at dangerous speed for a distance of 1.5 miles without being stopped by the police and without anyone dying! There are no options in this challenge, you just have to guess a figure.

The answer will come next time with an explanation of where everyone sat. The lucky contestant with the correct answer will win one of the things that will feature in the next Banzai challenge so do tune in next time!

(P.S. the number can include up to 2 children but no more, the rest being adults, oh, and no midgets!)

Settling in to Life with the Boys

Despite the crazily early starts I’m settling in to life at the new boys home. The only main problem that we have is a family of rats! Last night I walked into the kitchen to discover the fat mama climbing the wall and disappearing through a hole. Rats that climb walls – hmmm… they must be crazy mutant rats with special powers.

Also, after being so excited about having a flushing loo we discovered that it struggles to flush anything solid! That means there can be special presents waiting for you if the previous resident was too lazy to sort it out and this leads to a need of “mashing” with the loo brush! I can hear the groans of disgust from here so I’ll stop there on that one!

The 2 photos are of the house warming party we had last week and also of my lovely room. Now I’ve got all my photos up I’m feeling right at home!

FISHLIPS!!!

Those of you who know me well will know that the term “fishlips” is a favourite of mine. Many times I have searched for a graphic illustration of this fabulous phrase and after years of struggling to find one that does it justice, I feel that with this photo my quest can finally end!!

(By the way, the woman is Natalie, Duncan and Mary’s cook, don’t ask me what the fish was called, we munched it before it had a chance to tell us! I saved its lips, ready as a prize for your second challenge which will come next time…)

Table manners?? Ha...Don’t be silly!

Well, I’m into my first week as “daddy”. I’ll be honest, much as I’m enjoying it, I’m absolutely knackered!! This is mainly because of the early morning starts at 5:50am to get the boys up and make them breakfast, then pack them off to school! Can you imagine, me, Tim Crow getting up in the hour of 5!!!! Anyway, other then the early starts it’s great to be with the boys.

I’m doing my responsible bit, setting up cleaning rotas, helping with homework and even the odd bed time story! Then of course I’ve been teaching them the art of table manners “RABU style” as this photo demonstrates!!

Who's The Daddy?!

So this has been an exciting few days! This week we have decided to rent a new home for the boys. Until now they’ve been staying in their simple rooms down at the church. We’ve decided to move the boys into a more homely environment into the flat above where the White Eagle Girls are staying, which includes a proper lounge, dining room, bathroom and FLUSHING TOILET!! They will stay here for a year until the next phase of their home is built.

Anyway, next week 14 of the younger boys will move in and guess who’s moving in with them to be the Daddy? None other than my rudeboy self! Soon to be a man of responsibility, I’ve realised it may mean I have to start acting my age. Lord help me!

Right Arm Round the Wicket – 6 to Come!

With my growing love of cricket over the last few years I thought it was time to introduce the boys to a game other than my beloved football! As it was raining we played indoors and the boys took to it very quickly (although some of the bowling actions were pretty funky to say the least!)

Unfortunately it was brought to an abrupt end when one of the boys was accused of tampering with the ball. The umpires pronounced the batting side the winners by default and now the ICC has launched an investigation. (To tell the truth the bat snapped in half when one of the boys went for a 6 and the bottom half nearly took Rob’s head off!)

How to Keep Your Skin Youthful!

Last weekend in celebration of my friends Rob and Kat Davies being here, we went to Lake Nabugabo. We travelled as we always do when going to the lake, on the back of a massive lorry, dancing and shouting all the way!

The day was taken up with swimming, playing volleyball, and once again eating spectacular amounts of pork and rice! There were many photos I could use to sum up the day of jubilations but decided on this one. (Please note that this Ugandan Mudpack is now available from Rabu Industries at the bargain price of £9.99 a pot! Buy one today and get your own free bag of monkey balls!)

The Pork Factor - A Meaty Suprise!!

Yesterday was independence day here in Uganda. To celebrate we went to the farm and FEASTED on pork. I highlight the word feasted because it was a feast in more ways than one!

Firstly we ate pork in every shape and form. For the first phase we had BBQ pork (2 large skewers each – see photo!). The second phase was fried pork with onion and cabbage. The third and final phase was stewed pork with mountains of rice, matoke and sweet potato. It was the sweetest pork you could ever imagine, although today I’m paying slightly for it, as is everyone else in this internet café if you know what I mean!! (Special smells my friends, special smells!)

There was also a feast for the eyes as I visited the piggery on the farm. When I came to the pen of the fattest daddee of all pigs I encountered an amazing site. So amazing I’ve given it its own blog entry below….behold the wonder my bredrins and sistrins, of what was the crowning glory of my day of meaty suprises!

The reason that River Of Life pigs have such large litters!

Check out this fat daddee - He's rather large in more ways than one! Ai!

..and the winner is...

Well, I have been impressed with the response to your first task. Many of the names impressed me greatly so in order to crown the winner a panel of judges has been assembled from throughout the land of Uganda.

We have decided that my newest bredrin is to be called.....DUNDOOZA (with greatest respec to Jeza the original). Therefore Jonny, who first suggested it, well done, 5 special fried blaps for you and a bag of grasshoppers on my return!

(p.s. after all that it seems Dundooza no longer wants to be my bredrin and I haven't seen him since. Perhaps it was the special smell i created that night we first met?)