Barry The Beefy Badboy Beast!

Many of you may recognise this picture of an exuberant Jamal, from Slumdog Millionaire, post-voluntary dive into a pit latrine.  Before we continue, might we reassure you that this is not one of the things that we have delighted in since arriving in Uganda (yet).  However, we were reminded of this scene, on a recent excursion to visit the project farm, on a typical day during Uganda rainy season.

Tim, having got the church pick-up stuck in the mud, gallantly proceeded to try to escape, whilst our friend Rob (amongst other manly individuals) endeavoured to push.  Neither had realised that the wheels have a catch that needs to be turned in order to engage the 4WD.  So Rob ended up looking much like little Jamal, or perhaps even Augustus Gloop after a dip in Willie Wonka’s chocolate River.  Happy days!

Which leads us on nicely to Barry!  Still traumatised by the premature demise of our elderly rover, Ethel just prior to our departure to Uganda, (may her metallic carcass rest in peace), we have been on the hunt to find a fitting Ugandan equivalent! We therefore would now like to proudly introduce our Toyota Rav 4, which we have named Barry The Beefy Badboy Beast (a.k.a. Bazza)!

Barry was purchased from the wife of a Catholic priest (get your head round that one if you can!) and is a welcome addition to our family.  We feel extremely blessed to have found him, since he has all the main requirements: 

• 4WD;
• 5 doors (easier to put car seats in, when the need arises in the future!); 
• Boot space for medical supplies;
• A youthful sprightliness, that understates the 170,000km on his clock!

We hope that seeing his photo will entice you from far and wide to come and enjoy the soft caress of his seats on your booty!

Patience is a Virtue!

James 5:8 “Be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.”

This week, we feel that this verse is very fitting as we get to grips with life in Uganda once again, and for 2 reasons:

1. Firstly it is fitting, as one of the paramount virtues that one must possess in Uganda is patience.
2. Secondly, a number of times in this 3 weeks, one, or both of us, have found ourselves wondering whether in fact we may see the return of the Lord before we actually manage to: 

• Tuck into the starter we ordered about 5 years earlier from the lovely, albeit rather sloth-like waitress;
• Find the elusive electrician who is always going to be there in 1 hour - (5 days, and many phone calls later, he’s still just an hour away from arriving!);
• Get our visa sorted - of course, although the office should be open every day, so far it has only been open once, and of course the man was far too busy with the very important task of testing the comfort of his chair whilst picking his teeth to help us on that day!
• Setting up our Ugandan Bank account and receiving our bank cards - 4 days of waiting for our account to be registered was followed by 2 hours of waiting at the bank card window, only to then be informed that the machine was a "bit slow," and then another hour later, (after some pushing on Tim’s part), the admission that the machine was actually broken! 5 days later, after trying each day, and another hours wait and our bankcards did, astonishingly, beat the return of the Lord! Hallelujah!!

He’s coming soon people – be ready!!!

Team Crow Are On The R.O.L!!

We are sitting in our house in Bwala, Masaka, reflecting on a busy first 2 weeks, much of which has been taken up with sorting out the house and scrubbing away layers of filth that have doubtless been here for many years! Tim has done some expert DIY (no sarcasm here!) and has managed to blow a few things up, while Sarah cheerily proceeded to nearly burn the house down by leaving electric hobs on whilst the cooker was directly under the wooden kitchen work surface!

Other than that, here are some of the stand out moments so far:

Being clamped on our second day whilst borrowing our friend’s car;


Sarah being attacked by a bat, then accidently half squashing it, and then making Tim dispatch it brutally with a door stop whilst it made traumatising squeaking sounds;

The White Eagle boys putting on a welcome home production, featuring the story of how Tim and Sarah met (including Ivan Mujuzzi in drag, shaking his booty. There was some confusion as to whether he was representing Tim or Sarah!!).

Sarah making the schoolboy error of confusing the very similar Luganda words for “water” and the rude word for “poo” and also finding out that her ipod Luganda app had given her a word for “please” that actually means “dog”! Classic!

It’s great to be back!

World's Scariest Police Chases - Uganda Edition!!

Well my freinds, I've always said: "There's one thing I can say about living in Uganda, it's never dull!" Today I bring you another example but in order to take you through today's encounter let me hand you over to everybody's favorite Sheriff, Sheriff John Burnell (Ret.) - Channel 5 late night viewers know who I'm talkin about!

Sheriff Burnell: "Crazy Taxi Drivers....., Some of the world's most ridiculous police....., Cars built for 5 but carrying 10...., put these elements together and you have....THE WORLD'S SCARIEST POLICE CHASES.....IN UGANDA!!"

"Today: Wrong Taxi, Wrong Time! coming in at number 3 in our Top 10 List, Timothy Crow recites his experience of a hectic Police Chase - Ugandan Style!!"

Tim: "I was just doing what I always do, getting in a Taxi to Nyendo. The fact that it was carrying far too many passengers was nothing new, it's an everyday occurence here. What was a new experience however, was when a Ugandan Police Truck screeched to a halt besides us. 2 Policemen, armed with rifles, jumped out and ran towards our Taxi. The Driver started shouting! The 2 policemen pulled open the drivers door and front left passenger door. However, rather than handing himself over for whatever he'd done wrong (and the list could be rather long I'm sure!), the driver slamed his foot on the accelerator, swerving like a complete lunatic with the policemen still grabbing onto the doors!!"

"We narrowly missed hitting the police truck and nearly mowed down one of the policemen and then sped away at a speed which I was rather suprised that this ramshackle old Taxi could manage. As I and the other passengers looked back, the policemen were shouting: it seemed as though the driver of the police truck had stalled and they were some distance back!"

"I thought about jumping out, but knew that I would probably break a fair few bones so decided to enjoy the ride! And what a ride! Speeding past other road users, bouncing over potholes, narrowly escaping an abbrupt end with an oncoming Lorry."

"Still, on the up side it's the fastest ever trip I've made bewteen Masaka and Nyendo!"

Sheriff Burnell: "Tune in next time, for number 2 of our Top 10 Police Chases from around the world as a dangerous criminal makes a nifty getaway on a large goat in Nepal."

OPERATION A.R.K. 2009!

James 2:17 says that "Faith without Action is dead!" Operation ARK is all about putting our faith into action by blessing our local community through Acts of Random Kindness!

It's also about UNITY and we were very excited this year to link up with youth from 6 other local churches here in Nyendo. In total over 115 youth attended over the course of the week as we hit the streets of Nyendo to show the Love of Jesus through meeting people's practical needs. It was a real triumph to see so many youth getting stuck in and willing to get their hands dirty and it's awesome to see how this vision has grown from the small beginnings of 15 River of Life Church Youth in 2008!

This year we focussed mainly on an area called Kakyafu which literally translates as "Rubbish." It's quite a fitting name, being one of the most notorious slums of Nyendo. But together, this week we have managed to make a real impact, cleaning the streets, painting people's houses, digging and cleaning out wells, and giving boxes of food and other essentials to those most in need. we have now decided that it should be re-named Okuyonja which means "Clean!"



Many were blessed, some became Christians, and many were challenged about their perceptions of Christians. One woman couldn't beliveve it when we didn't want any money for the box of food we gave her and commented "Wow - you guys are really showing a true Christianity!"
One Muslim man said "Hmm.....this is a real challenge for us Muslims, I wish we would do more practical things to bless our community!"

my favorite quote of the week comes from a 7 year old child however who ran to his mother saying "look what these people are doing, I think it shows that everyone should get saved!"

We have been so blessed by the efforts of our youth and are looking forward to Operation A.R.K growing in the future! It goes to show that actions really do speak louder than words!

Our Newest White Eagles!!

With a week left now before I head back to the UK for Easter I thought I must make sure I take the time to introduce you to the 2 newest member’s of the White Eagle family – Kellen and Kelvin.

It’s actually quite a tragic story, as many stories are here in Uganda, but as always God has the power to turn these things round to good! Kellen in 13 years old, and was found by our project manager’s Emily’s husband who is a doctor, at Kitovu Hospital where he works in the paediatric ward. Kellen was raped by 2 men on the way to see her aunt one night and as a result became pregnant.

She had been staying with her grandmother, but it was very clear that her family were not in a position to give her the care she needed as a child herself who was about to give birth to her own child after such a awful assault. We decided to take her into the girl’s home and a week after being taken in she gave birth to little Kelvin on 28th February.

Miraculously, even though Kellen is so young, she had a normal delivery which from start to finish only took 1 hour and 15 minutes! We were concerned about how Kellen would feel about her baby but so far things are going very well and all the girls are very excited to have a new little brother in the girl’s home! Kellen is an absolute star and is settling in very well. Obviously there is a lot of emotional healing that needs to take place, but she’s in the right place for that to happen!

So there you have it, the White Eagle Family grows ever larger!

DOUBLE GLORY AS BALL-LINE TIGERS AND EMMANUEL HOTSPURS TAKE THE CUPS!!

Another LMC Cup of Masaka has come to an end and in two of the mos-t closely contested finals the tournament has known it was Ball-line Tigers who were crowned Junior Champions, and Emmanuel Hotspurs, formerly The White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation, who took an unprecedented 4th straight title in the Senior Section.


BALL-LINE TIGERS TAKE CUP IN EPIC PENALTY SHOOT-OUT!



In the Junior Final, no one could had expected the drama that would unfold. Ball-line Tigers, with their silky passing moves and pace up front had a dream start when Kabanda was upended in the box and the Referee pointed to the spot.

The dream turned into a nightmare however when Kabanda blazed his penalty well over the bar and out of the stadium. He redeemed himself only minutes later when a bouncing ball caught the Hipipo keeper in no-man's land and Kabanda slotted an easy header into an empty net for 1-0.

The joy was short lived. Hipipo were stirred into action and as they pressed for an equaliser they were awarded their own penalty as Kaketo handled inside the box. Semugenyi kept a cooler head then his adversary Kabanda had earlier done and cracked his penalty beyond Muyimba. 1-1 at half time.

The second half was a story of missed chances and moments of keeping brilliance. 1-1 it remained and the title would be decided by a penalty shoot-out.

It was Hipipo who drew first blood, slotting their first penalty whilst the Tigers hit the post. Each subsequent player kept a cool head and left the score at 4-3 with Hipipo's Keeper stepping up knowing that all he had to do was to score in order to cover himself with glory and allow his team to take the cup. He powered it towards the bottom left hand corner but Muyimba went the right way and clasped the ball into his chest to send the Tigers fan's into a frenzy. Umaru still had to score for the Tigers, and did so with aplomb sending the shoot out into sudden death.

Both teams scored their first, 5-5....and their second,6-6....

…But with the pressure mounting Hipio's Kityo put his strike against the post. There was a moment of confusion as ecstatic Tigers fan's and even manager Walusimbi, stormed the pitch thinking they had won! The refs quickly dispersed the crowd pointing out that the Tigers still had to score their penalty.

Up stepped Kabanda, top goal scorer with 10 goals to his name. Could he put his earlier penalty miss out of his mind?? The answer was yes as he spanked the ball firmly beyong the flailing keeper. Kabanda fell to the ground and was soon immersed in his fellow Tigers and crazed supporters. An amazing end to a fabulous encounter.

EMMANUEL HOTSPURS RETAIN TITLE IN HARD ERANED VICTORY OVER NTAKE.



Emmanuel Hotspurs, defending champions and tournament favourites Vs Ntake F.C., arch rivals and the only real team capable of toppling the Hotspurs from their pedestal, was a game widely anticipated here in Nyendo.

As the sun finally beat down on a rain-drenched pitch that had only been made playable thanks to “Dan the Man” and his trusty jerry can, used to remove the standing water, the crowds were in good song at Kasana and knew they were in for a treat.

Like any good derby, the tone was set early with some crunching challenges and 2 yellow cards in the first 10 minutes. Neither side were going to take any prisoners!

As the first half moved on it was the Hotspurs who seemed to settle. Their tight control and one touch passing put Fred through on the right who’s cross was blocked providing the Hotspurs with a corner. Fred’s delivery from the corner was “Beckhamess” and Kalisa was left unmarked at the back to power in the first for the Hotspurs.

Into the second half and the match was well balanced. The Hotspurs pressed for the second but Ntake always looked dangerous on the counter.

Ntake had a glorious chance to equalise when Walusimbi, usually so sturdy at the back, played a criminal pass across his own box allowing Owen to steal in. Walusimbi scrambled across and did just enough to put Owen off who blazed high and wide. It was a sitter that should really have hit the net but instead the ball went clean out of the stadium, over the houses and took several minutes to retrieve. In this short interlude the crowd were entertained as Crichlow the Cow broke loose of his fastening and made a bolt for freedom across the pitch. Criclow was eventually subdued and showed his dismay by pooing next to the corner flag!

Minutes later the Hotspurs had the second they had pushed for, A sweeping move sliced the Ntake defence apart and Sam, bearing down on goal, unselfishly laid it off for Javira to dink past the keeper and give the Hotspurs some breathing room.

Ntake’s almost unbelievable miss from 6 yards 5 minutes later was a sign that it was not their day and Emmanuel Hotspurs saw out the match, 2-0 winners and Champions Once again!!

Junior Final Postponed After Torrential Downpour

Today’s Junior Final was postponed due to adverse weather conditions and a flooded pitch. In what should be dry season, it seems particularly unfortunate that it rained ALL day – something very unusual in Uganda, even during the wet season. It now means that both finals will have to be played tomorrow (Sunday) and everyone is holding their breath to see what the weather will do.

As we gear up for tomorrow’s finals, we have had confirmed reports that Emmanuel Hotspurs player/manager Tim Crow is likely to miss the Final after an injury sustained in training on Thursday evening.


It seems that Crow was overtaken by the mental condition, widely known as “complete and utter lack of common sense,” a condition rife in this Ugandan setting. Spectators describe how he took to the field BARE FOOTED and limped off only minutes later after an elaborate attempt at a volley went horribly wrong.

Team Physio “Aussie Nick” confirmed: “It is indeed an injury that has plagued many of the English Stars, the dreaded mashing of the metatarsal. His foot is pretty raggo and he could be out for some time”

When asked whether Dr. Nick could work his magic and have Crow ready for the final he replied: “Cripes mate! There is only so much I can do with a bandage and a can of deep heat – I’m not a miracle worker you flammin’ Galar!!”

Crow is said to be “gutted” but says that it will give him a chance to focus solely on his managerial skills as Emmanuel Hotspurs face their toughest opponents of recent years – Ntake F.C., in tomorrow’s show down.

A pitch inspection at 10:00am will confirm whether the surface at Kasana Stadium offers playable conditions after this week’s unseasonal downpours, which left the pitch waterlogged for a number of days. Dan Ngobya has kindly offered the services of “his spade, some sand and some hard graft with the lads” as soon as he gets back from collecting Crichlow the Cow from the village, in order to try and get the pitch ready!

LMC CONFEDERATIONS CUP OF MASAKA 2009 - TOURNAMENT UPDATE!!

You join in the lead up to the finals here in Masaka. For 2 weeks both Junior and Senior teams have been battling it out in this year's LMC Cup, and as always there has been the fair share of wonderous goals, horrendous errors, errant tackles, red cards and the odd moment of controversy to keep the crowds cheering, jeering and screeching with laughter! Flooded pitches, stolen nets, and the odd streaker have all added some spice to the Ugandan delicacy that is THE LMC CONFEDERATIONS CUP OF MASAKA!!



JUNIOR DRAW

In the Junior draw, the main interest has been in the battle of the Academies. Ball-line Academy, directed by the footballing legend Tim Crow, and managed by Uganda's most talented Left Footer, Walusimbi, had 2 teams in the tournament both of which breezed through their group stages and respective quarter fianls, to meet each other in the semis. Ball-line Tigers won through against Ball-line Kobs 3-0, courtesy of some shambolic keeping.

They will meet Hipipo F.C. their arch rivals and another academy team, who won their Semi Final against a spirited Super Eagles, this years Wild Card Team, who had earlier surpassed everyone's expectations by sweeping aside The Destroyer F.C. 6-0 in their Quarter Final with a cracking hatrick from Semfuka.

JUNIOR FINAL: Hipipo F.C. Vs Ball-line Tigers - Live at 3:45pm Saturday 24th Jan on SuperSports 3.



SENIOR DRAW

In the Senior Draw, last years Winners, The White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation, renamed "Emmanuel Hotspurs" for this year's competition, have again been in irrisistable form. 3-0, 7-0, and 3-0 wins in their group stage matches ensured their progress to the semi finals where it was a repeat of last year's final match up against Spanner Seniors F.C. In a close game at Kasana the Hotspurs won through 2-1 and again have a chance to retain their champion status that has not been wrestled from them since the tournamnet's conception in 2005.

The team that will try to topple them is a team well known to them: Ntake F.C. Ntake managed to set up this final show down by sqeeking through against the Lucky Boys - (not so Lucky on this occasion), in a 4-3 win on Penalties after 2 cracking long range free kicks had left the match 1-1 at Full time.

Forget Tottenham Vs Arsenal or Man City Vs Man Utd, Emmanuel Hotspurs Vs Ntake F.C. is a local Derby that has the masses salivating with anticipation! Don't miss what promises to be the finest, most strongly contested Cup Final this tournament has ever seen!

SENIOR FINAL: Emmanuel Hotspurs Vs Ntake F.C. - Live at 3:45pm Sunday 25th Jan on SuperSports 1.

Back to Business!

Well my friends, yet again I find myself apologising for not updating this blog enough!! But yes, after a fantabulous, (albeit rather hectic) summer, I find myself back In the Pearl of Africa that is the Uganda massive!! Brap!!

Oh and how I love it: the crappy internet that takes 2 hours to send a few e-mails; the power that goes off just as the e-mail you’ve spent 2 hours trying to send looks like it might be about to go somewhere; the shower that you have to spend a months budget on to get fixed 3 times in one week only for it just to blow up again, ahhhh I could go on and on!!! Hey - anyone who needs to learn some lessons in patience let me tell you, Uganda is your destination my friend!!


But truly I do love Uganda and it’s good to be back (especially to the cracking equatorial sunshine – how nice after a typical British summer of rain, rain and yes, camping in the rain!!!)

We are just about to start up the building work on the Boy’s Home again, after the triumphant Manchester to Blackpool cycle ride this summer, which raised almost £17,000!! Unbelievable, and I can safely say I’d happily violate my bottom again in a similar way if it means raising such fabulous amounts of money for such a worthy cause! I realise that I may stand alone however! I know at least 1 participant who found the whole experience so traumatising that she hasn’t ridden a bicycle since!! (Mentioning no names….but she’s a doctor….he he!!)
On a less happy note, we had to ask 2 of the boys to leave the project 2 weeks ago due to some ongoing problems we were having with them to a point where we felt they posed a serious risk to the safety of others. It’s really heart-breaking because the White Eagle Project is a family at heart. We are learning however that a line has to be drawn somewhere!

Still, I’ve been meeting with one of these boys to continue mentoring him and the whole experience has given him the kick up the backside that he needs. I really believe there’s hope for him yet and God’s on his case so I’ve no doubt it will be turned around to a powerful testimony somehow! Please pray for him.

With Duncan and Mary still in the UK and our Project manager Emily having been quite sick, it means it’s been rather busy! I’m also trying every big company and their auntie to try and get funding for our yearly football tournament, which will take place in January. Lots of interest so far but until I have the money in my hand I can’t rest on my laurels!!

So anyway, it’s back in at the deep end, but that’s good cos they say it’s the quickest way to learn how to swim. Having said that I can’t say I actually know a single person who learnt to swim like that! “In you go son…..that’s right kick your legs….try not to swallow so much water….no don’t be silly, you're not drowning…...Oh tits, where’s he gone??” What a lovely enduring image to leave you with!!

ADVENTURES FROM MANCHESTER TO BLACKPOOL -

So here's the deal! A whole group of us, being intrepid explorers and thrill seekers who live life on the edge are set for a true adventure come this Sunday!

We will be cycling from Manchester to Blackpool (60 miles) in order to Raise money for the Building Project for the White Eagle's Boy's Home. "How is that an adventure?" I hear you ask. To that I would answer with the following 4 points:
(1) The training for this adventure, more especially on my part has been....non existant...so it could be interesting!
(2) This Adventure for me will be off the back of a day's hardcore cricketting, a long drive and fairly little sleep...making the challenge even greater!
(3) My bum gets sore after cycling down the road leave alone 60 miles!
(4) I made the stupid offer that if it would help raise more money I'd do the last mile naked....I have a horrible feeling I might regret that. However, I've thought about it and if we raise over £5000 I'm up for it!!!

So, come on people! You know it makes sense! You can help give a better life to our Boys, and if nothing else think of our poor botties!!

THE MOST HORRIFIC TALE YOU MAY EVER HEAR (PART 3!)

So yeah, I realise that these are becoming a bit of a regular feature on my blog and I had never expected that when I wrote of my first unimaginably horrific experience that it would end up being the first part of a trilogy. However, today’s tale is TRULY stomach-turningly atrocious! I’m still shivering with the thought!

Anyway, let me paint the scene: I have these past few days been suffering with flu/chest infection/malaria (doctors opinion is second and third options, my opinion is just the first 2!). Anyway, yesterday morning I stumbled out of bed, half asleep and in a fragile state. I went into the bathroom and started washing my face. However, after a few seconds I stopped. “This soap smells a bit….funky” I thought. I opened my eyes to look at the soap…(brace yourselves, some of you may even need a bucket close at hand, cos this is rank!)…the soap had poo all over it! Splurgghhhhh!! Can you imagine? Truly, unimaginably, awfully, horrendously NASTY!

Now some of you may be wondering why? Well we have some of the youngest of the White Eagles staying with us in Bwala at the moment. Some of their toilet habits leave a little bit to be desired! I’m guessing one of them forgot that there’s such a thing as toilet paper, used their hand to wipe their batty and then washed their hands….badly!!!

Anyway, at that exact moment in time I wasn’t thinking about questions like why? I was just dumb-struck in horror. And in that moment of silent disgust, a tune came into my mind. Some of you may remember back in the day, summertimes at revival camp, and the legendary game that Timothy and Co. came up with in the youth tent entitled “Poo in your Face!” Others with good memories may even remember the theme tune that accompanied it (sung, nay, screamed to the chords from Nirvana’s ‘smells like teen spirit!” You know…the one we screeched at top volume and had people rush in from the main tent to shut us up cos they were having a “spiritual moment” in the big top and all they could hear was us screaming about Poo in your face! Yeah, you remember! The very same game that we were banned from playing because some idiotic father thought we were using real poo! Now you’re with me!) So yes, as I stood there stupefied in horror, all I could hear was this tune: “Poo in your face, Poo in your face, Poo in your face, Poo in your face, AHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHH digga digga digga digaa POO IN YOUR FACE!”

Ahhhh, Uganda! Never fails to throw up some interesting situations!! Gotta love it really, albeit in a sometimes horrifying way!

p.s. a little note regarding the picture that accompanies this post: What ever happened to all those old skool joke shops that were around in the 80s? If anyone knows of any in the South East London area please let me know!

OPERATION A.R.K

(Imagine the theme tune to mission impossible starting….) Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to grab your paintbrushes, spades, brooms and food boxes and to go and bless the people of Mabera. Clean their streets, paint their houses and shops, feed those most in need, pray for their needs and have a right good laugh whilst you’re at it! THIS is OPERATION A.R.K!!

So last week 25 youth (with a few willing adults and kids thrown into the mix) hit the streets of Mabera (a run down part of Nyendo) as part of Operation A.R.K (Acts of Random Kindness). This is a vision that Julius and I as youth leaders have had for some time and finally we’re making it a reality! It’s basically a Soul in The City Style mission, and the wonderful thing is that there is never any need to think up ideas of what to do because the need is everywhere, starring you in the face!

So we painted peoples’ houses and shops (and each other!), cleaned the streets, gave food boxes to the poorest families and showed them the love of Jesus! They were blessed, some were saved, one old lady has even joined our church and this is only just the beginning!! Watch this space!!! BRAP!!

ADVENTURES IN THE JUNGLE!

Well, the White Eagles have worked long and hard all term and have finally reached their holidays. In order to reward them for their efforts we decided “what better way for them to enjoy a well deserved break than to set them to work clearing the jungle that is Kibaya Farm!”

Now of course I’m hamming it up - I don’t want you to think we’re using these boys for slave labour! And the truth is its been fantastic fun! Give a group of lads a pile of machetes and a load of bush to clear and we can keep ourselves very happy for hours!! And of course this being Uganda, the work is generously interspersed with long ‘tea breaks’, ‘banter breaks’, ‘posing with machetes breaks’, ‘sitting down for no other reason than we’re a bit tired breaks’ and so on!!



So for 3 days, myself and 15 of the lads would spend the day happily hacking away and then head off to Bwala for a slap up meal, a chat with the Duncan and Mary about burning issues like money, integrity and sex and then hit the hay!

And of course Uganda is a country of true adventure and indeed these days had their share of incidents! We’ve had some exciting encounters with snakes and most excitingly with a small dragon (well, a humongous monitor lizard actually and I have to be honest and tell you that we encountered this not at the farm whilst hacking the jungle, but in Bwala atop a rubbish pile!) Anyway, lets not get tied up in technicalities, as you can see from the photo it was the size of a small alligator. I must say at that moment I could have been likened to a small child who’s had far too much sugar and gets so excited that he then wees in his pants a little bit! (Although let me state for the record that I did manage to stay dry – but only just!!)



All in all a thoroughly fantastically excellent 3 and a half days really! Machetes, snakes, dragons, large amounts of matoke, chats about Sex and even a bit of football in the garden with jumpers for goalposts! What more could a boy want?! Life is good!

The most Horrific Tale you may ever hear (except for perhaps the other story that I gave exactly the same title to a while back!)

Every so often I have a truly shockingly bad experience here in Uganda. The last time I wrote a story with such a title involved a very large cockroach in my bed that even decided to take an excursion onto my face and which I only JUST managed to kill before the power suddenly went off! (A truly close call!)

Well, a few days ago I had another terrifying experience and one which will once again take some time, and no doubt a certain amount of counselling to recover from!

I must first explain the state of mind I was in that day because, much as what I did was inexcusable, I would like to claim some element of insanity. I had had a ridiculously busy few days off the back of a busy few weeks. In fact I had not had a proper day off for almost 3 weeks and was feeling the strain.

I awoke in the morning to realise that in 10 minutes I was scheduled to be giving a computer lesson down at the church so in a half asleep state fumbled around and jumped into Duncan’s car to head down to the church.

It was as I was driving that the shameful, unimaginably awful moment of realisation occurred to me. I was thinking, “driving this car seems strange this morning...it feels a bit weird...”

I looked down, and lo and behold....and please brace yourself my friends because this was a scenario I had never fully prepared myself for....I was wearing SOCKS AND SANDALS!!!!

It was a terrible, terrible moment best described by the famous words towards the end of the classic Vietnam war film, Apocalypse Now: “The horror......the horror.....”

Please pray for me friends, it may be many months before I can face society again

Easter Shenanigans!!!

Well, Easter has come and gone and I must apologise for being rubbish at updating my blog recently!

Whilst the White Eagle’s don’t get their holidays for another 3 weeks, thankfully they were let out of school for a long Easter weekend which we made the most of, the highlight of which was a trip to Lake Nabugabo. At this point I should probably say that we had a special guest with us, a rather fabulous girl called Sarah from the UK who had come to work with us for 2 weeks.

It was therefore good that we had a trip to the Lake as she was given the baptism of fire that is the journey there and back all crammed into the back of a truck (great fun although I have to say I was a little disappointed at the lack of break-neck speeds which usually go hand in hand with these trips. It seems the drivers are actually starting to realise that there’s something called “speed limits” mores the pity!)

The weather was no less than superb, we slaughtered and munched a whole pig as usual, played volleyball, swam and DANCED! For the first time that I can remember we had the inspired idea of taking the PA equipment and danced like rabid monkeys (some more than others)! My personal highlight was seeing the large frame of Mama Kat being shaken all over the place like a woman possessed by the power of Funk! (you know say!!) All in all, a really rather fantabulous day!

Oh…and with regards to the cheeky little lady that is Sarah Giles, well now, that’s a WHOLE other story, and one probably best left for me to tell in person rather than over the internet!!! ;-)