Criminal Tings and Chicken Wings!

I know we say this every time we write, but this time it really has been an eventful week!  We had a lot of things that we wanted to tell everyone, but this has been somewhat overshadowed by the realisation yesterday morning that our house had been robbed whilst we slept.  Some of you may remember an earlier post regarding the need here in Uganda, to find “silver linings” in difficult situations! 

Well, the first silver lining is that Tim’s macbook pro is broken.  Whilst this may seem an odd silver lining, it is so because after many failed attempts in recent weeks to resurrect it, it was whisked off to the UK with Rob and Katherine just a few days ago, and was therefore safe from pilfering hands.  

The second silver lining is the result of Tim’s obstinate insistence on reading his book and ignoring his wife.  Had he been more attentive, then he, rather than Sarah’s laptop, would have provided sufficient entertainment, and the laptop, which usually resides in the living room, would have been teefed!  Tim now feels that this offers concrete proof of the benefits of paying minimal attention to one’s spouse! (Admittedly at particular times only!)     

On another positive note, we now have much less clutter to organise, and we now fear break-ins much less, as there isn’t really anything left to steal!  Finally, it could have been much worse, namely if Tim (a light sleeper) had woken and decided to confront the thieves.  We have been assured that this probably would have ended in a trip to the hospital, or otherwise to the morgue!  So all in all, we feel very thankful for God’s protection that night.  The police have assured us that they are on the case (despite showing no interest in the evidence brought, nor even deigning to visit the scene of the crime), so we can be confident that they are about as likely as The Simpson’s Chief Wiggum to solve this dastardly crime....

Back to our other news....  Firstly we are excited to report the arrival (finally) of our chickens!  We have called them Texas Pete and Mr Magoo, and they are a delight.  Initially they provided great sport, requiring about half an hour per night of chasing in order to persuade them to go to bed (I guess parents reading this can empathise) – but they have finally realised we mean them no harm, and now retire at the first hint of dusk, and can be found sitting in their coop, on their perch.  The only down-side?  It will be about 2 months before they lay any eggs, thus rendering their ongoing existence far less certain, and the likelihood of being invited to (and actually being) a roast chick dinner far more likely.  We jest, of course, we could never hurt our good friends.  For now at least......

Texas Pete & Mr. Magoo

A familiar tale of woe for those aware of the lovely (and now struck-off) doctor Andrew Wakefield, (who fraudulently claimed that the MMR causes autism), we’ve had a measles outbreak at the hospital.  The problem is, unlike in the UK, where we generally see sniffley miserable children with a rash, here it can be fatal (and has been in one case this last week).  Just another frustratingly preventable cause of death to add to the list. 

We started with criminal activity, so let us finish with criminal activity.....

It has crossed our minds that perhaps it is no coincidence that Tim is always there when riots start.  This is the third time since we arrived that Tim has found himself in the midst of an angry mob.  The first time was during a protest about the poor electricity supply, the second time was saving referees from enraged supporters during the Synergy Cup, and this time it was again, football-related.  A cup final between 2 of the biggest rival schools in the region, Masaka S.S and Kimanya S.S, was the catalyst that led to hundreds of enraged (and no doubt hormonal) teenagers deciding that the best way to vent their frustrations was to grab large sticks and clubs, fight each other, and also attack innocent drivers trying to get home after a hard day’s work (just to clarify, Tim was one of the drivers whose car was attacked, not one of the stick wielding yobbos!). 

After receiving some particularly fruity abuse from one young fellow, followed by an energetic thumping of the car, Tim (despite really wanting to get out and give this young whippersnapper a piece of his mind, and perhaps even a cheeky blaps to the face) took his wife’s sage advice and chose an alternative route home.  Tear gas eventually dispersed the mob, we hear.  Never a dull moment on Bwala hill!  

BABIES & BALLERS

BABY BOOM!

Small they may be, but they are certainly tough.  After a very rocky time, our triplets are now going from strength to strength.  Thanks to a very generous person from the UK, we were able to buy clothes and other useful gifts for Mamma triplets, and also help her to pay off her hospital bill.  Elder Betty from our church helped to encourage the mother as well, and it is wonderful to see her now, finally confident and proud with her babies. 

As if one set of triplets in the hospital wasn’t enough, another set was born yesterday (the third set in the past 2 months) – but these were comparatively fat little babies, weighing in at about 1.7kg each (!), so they needed far less intervention than Peter, Paulo and John.  

Other new projects abound.  In collaboration with another charity, Sarah spent a day doing health checks on the children from a rural school.  You would think that children attending school would not have any major health problems, but that was certainly not the case.  Next week, she is hoping to work with another charity to do health checks on street children in Masaka.  

SYNERGY SEIZE THE FIVE P'S!

Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance. After losing narrowly on penalties in the Synergy Cup in January, Tim has been keen to put the Synergy players through their paces in order to ensure future success. The Synergy Seven Star fitness and skills tests have therefore been devised, which has been helping players see where they need to improve in a range of football necessities including fitness and agility followed by skills such as passing, shooting, turning, dribbling, heading and running with the ball. Our final test was the dreaded bleep test, not helped any by the burning sun and 30 degree temperatures! So for those who complain when doing it in a nice cool gym, know that it could be oh so much harder!! 

AND FINALLY...ANOTHER BARMY BODA!  

Lets face it people, whilst there may be a scarcity of electricity and water at times, barmy bodas are always in plentiful supply!

DEFINITION OF A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY!

Kitovu's Newest Recruit!

We would like to officially celebrate a new role that one of our colleagues’ sons has taken on.  Meet medical officer Jonah.  Now, whenever visitors come to Masaka, they can be assured of top quality medical care on their doorstep.  Or at least a little cutie to meet!

Triple Portion!

On a more serious note, we have had three new arrivals in the hospital: premature triplets, weighing in at 1kg each.  It has been quite a stressful time for all of us (not least their mother), since it has been very difficult with current staffing levels to ensure consistent/quality care – and this has definitely lead to some sleepless nights for us. 

I think we all admitted that divine intervention must have played a part, particularly with triplet #2 (the middle one – “Mr Pink” or “Musajja Pinki” – so-called due to his hat colour) who we felt quite sure would die on Thursday evening (as he was gasping for breath, grey in colour, with a massive tummy), but has hung in there and improved a lot. .  Honestly, I felt I was praying in vain when I looked at him on Thursday, but in fact, he is the one who is tolerating his feeds the best now!  Mukama ye basibwe!!

Mr Pink AKA Peter receiving phototherapy 

Our hope and plan is to start a neonatal unit here in Kitovu, but the main issue is funding.  Luckily we have some good neonatal kit donated by the Irish team who came last week for training.  But this week has really confirmed to us that, without a significant increase in staffing levels, having a neonatal unit would not be safe (I’ve been told we need 5 new nurses).  So please join us in praying for funding of the Neonatal Unit.

And FINALLY....The Return of BARMY BODAS!!

It's been a few posts since we had space to showcase Ugandan's spectacular disregard for road safety! Trust me this next photo is an all too common sight!! Feel free to suggest your own caption...

It's A Family Affair!

All Brawn

Those of you who know Tim well will know his love of the film Anchorman, and it is the words of Ron Burgundy that must be quoted now as we start this next blog!

“I'm not a baby, I am a man.... I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science!”

So true....and a few weeks ago, Tim & David (Sarah’s dad) proved this by taking on the challenge of building a 5 star chicken coop with nothing other than some off-cuts of wood, nails, and of course, metal, brawn and superior brain power!! GRRRRR!!!

This testosterone fest was  further escalated by our neighbours cockerel, who turned up to savagely ravage the chickens who already live on our compound and are owned by Prince and Lydia, who live in the other building on the land we are renting.  We would have felt a little bad for these poor, emotionally scarred chickens were it not for the fact that they have pretty much decimated our tenderly planted bougainvillea which now lie in ruins!

A Stoic Patient  

There is however, one thing that is sure to reduce any man to squeaks of agony. This is a quinine injection in the bum cheek, something that Tim has become all too accustomed to over the years, and which he has recently had to endure, as he was once again struck down with malaria! Thankfully Doctor Sarah with her intellectual prowess was on hand to suggest it would be less painful if half the dose was injected in one cheek and half in the other. This thankfully turned out to be a good plan, rather than backfiring and leaving Tim unable to sit in any position. We would be lying however if we were to say that there weren’t still a few small yelps!

Some Teaching at Kitovu

This week, we had a visit from an Irish neonatal team, aiming to help train up our staff in advance of the opening of the Kitovu neonatal unit (at some point, when funding is available!), so Sarah was able to use the resuscitation doll that we had obtained.  She goes by the name of Neo-Natalie, but we call her Neo-Nantale to ensure she feels at home in Uganda.  Anyway, she was a great success, and really helped us to illustrate the important points of neonatal resuscitation.  Long live Nantale!

And finally, more “lost in translation”

It was only last night when we were having a Luganda lesson with our good friend Gerald, that Sarah realised that after what is now months of saying “mpulira empewo”, when she feels cold, it turns out that it actually means “I feel I have wind”.  Brilliant.  Thankfully, the need to express feeling cold is not very great in Uganda!

Adventures In Western Uganda!

We have been rather tardy in updating our blog, since Sarah’s parents, David and Jane, have been visiting, but now we are ready to share the highlights of our time with them....

A Dangerous Wizz in the Heart of Queen Liz...

When we moved to Uganda, we knew that Uganda was a beautiful country, but I don’t think we appreciated just how beautiful until we went on a foray into Western Uganda.  First stop was Queen Elizabeth National Park, where we stayed in a “bush camp”, which basically means posh camping.

We did a driving tour around the National Park, and our tour guide was a little distressed by Tim and David’s flagrant disregard for their own safety, as the need to relieve themselves seemed to far outweigh the dangers of unseen beasts looking for their next meal!  Thankfully they both live to tell the tale, and with all appendages intact!

The particular highlight of the stay was the boat trip along the Mweya peninsula, featuring many water buffalo, hippos, crocodiles, birds of every colour, water bucks, warthogs, Uganda kobs, and elephants, all perilously close to swimming children from the nearby village!  We had spent all day keeping our eyes peeled for the animal everybody wanted to see, and towards the end of the boat trip Tim suddenly shrieked with excitement  when he saw what he says was a lion, through David’s binoculars. Unfortunately this can’t be confirmed as he was the only one to get a peek before it apparently slipped behind a bush. It must be said that pretty much everyone else thinks he was mistaken, but in his mind at least it definitely WAS a lion! (it was - I’m telling you!!)

 A final little treat was a few sharp nips from a tsetse fly for both David and Sarah, so prayers against Sleeping Sickness would be gratefully received!

A Colobus Legion in the Crater Lakes Region...

Next stop was to visit some long-lost relatives Sally and Sue who work at a teaching training college just outside Fort Portal. We were given a fine welcome and that evening we walked to a nearby crater lake just in time to see a fabulous sunset with the Rwenzori mountains as a backdrop before heading back for a few beers and a wonderful beef stew!

The next day we visited a nature reserve overlooking an amazing crater lake surrounded by jungle that made us feel like we were in Swiss Family Robinson! Up in the trees were a whole troop of Colobus monkeys who took very little notice of us, apart from to occasionally urinate from a height in our direction! Needless to say we kept our mouths firmly shut as we peered up at them from that point on!  After a spot of lunch we struck out to walk to a local viewpoint named “The Top of The World.” Perhaps this title is a little grandiose but we did get wonderful views and felt very blessed to be in such beautiful surroundings.    

Our trip ended with a slap up meal at the Mountains of the Moon hotel before heading back to Masaka the next day. Two thumbs up for a really fantastic trip and one we hope to do again in the future (for Tim to go and find his lion, if for no other reason!). 

A Day with the NDA...

When they arrived, David and Jane had 6 large bags, of which only 1 contained their stuff.  The rest was all for us!  Two contained donated drugs (medical of course, we haven't resorted to dealing crack just yet, although if the pound drops much more against the shilling it's always an option!), and these bags were to lead us on one of those infamous Ugandan journeys that make you feel like you’re rowing a boat with one oar!  David was unreasonably worried by the big sign proclaiming that importing drugs without declaring them would lead to a stay in one of Uganda’s delightful prisons, and deciding that this may not be the best place to spend his 2 week trip, therefore dutifully declared them.

 We were told to come back the next day to clear the drugs with the NDA (National Drug Authority), only to discover that we actually needed to go to their office in Kampala (about 40km away through heavy traffic).  Blithely we decided to wait until the day that David and Jane were due to fly, and thus spent the large part of that day sitting in the offices of the NDA, filling forms, paying various fees at the bank, and pacing up and down in frustration (in Sarah’s case).  Good enough, we were given our papers in time to dash to the airport, only to discover that the airport NDA official had gone home early! One more trip to the airport the following day did result in us FINALLY walking away with the drugs with yet another Ugandan lesson in patience & perseverance under our belts!

Home & Away!

Well it has been an eventful week, both home and away.

On the home front, we have hosted a number of new friends, including multiple cockroaches and excitingly some bin-invading maggots, as well as a rat and a number of bats (which fly down the chimney).  Just like his mum, Timmo does not like rats – as you can see, in his courageous attempts to coax the rat from his lair...

In addition, we have had no water for the past week, and when the water did finally flow... here is how it looked:

Fortunately, it cleared up soon enough, as we don’t think Sarah’s parents (who are arriving tonight!) would much like bathing in that.

 

On the work front...

For Sarah, it has been a very sad week at the hospital, with many babies dying of preventable conditions, but when she arrived at work on Monday to discover that three babies had died over the weekend due to anaemia, and a fourth then died in front of her eyes, she called up River of Life Church for help.  Valiantly, they arrived en masse, all willing to donate, but the funniest moment came when Rob (one of the directors) tried to do his part.  A small voice said “Sarah?”.... “Yes?” .... “I’m going to faint!”...  And this was only after the finger prick.  But all credit to him, he then went ahead and blood was dutifully squeezed from him.  Consent has been obtained for publishing this photo of the brave soul!

The last few weeks for Tim have been taken up with organising this year’s football tournament - The Synergy Cup! There have been some eventful matches, but none more so than yesterday’s semi final, which involved a pitch invasion and near riot, after the referee and his assistant disallowed what would have been an equaliser at the end of extra time. The supporters even barred the entrance to the ground, as Tim tried to escort the refs off to safety. Thankfully we managed to get them away before anyone was injured. Even Brian, Tim’s right hand man in Synergy Sports, was nearly beaten by an angry mob of mechanics! It has caused us to hire a police presence for Saturday’s final, which we hope will be an altogether more peaceful affair!

Twas the season to be Jolly!

Happy New Year to one and all!  We hope that the festive season treated you all well, and that you have had a good start to 2012. 

As the Christmas trees come down, and you start to work off those Christmas pounds we thought we would give you our highlights of the festive season:

• Spotting two boys riding along the main road between Masaka and Nyendo on a camel (whilst common in some African countries, this is the first Ugandan camel we have encountered);
• Watching “Elf” with the White Eagles – and seeing good old Buddy save Christmas;

 

•          Christmas carols with mulled wine, mince pies and some rather unconventional “carols” including “Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer” by Destiny’s Child!!
•         Enjoying a slap-up Christmas dinner with friends –including BBQ pork, stuffing, roast spuds, veg, gravy, homemade mincepies and custard;
•          Wolfing down delicious New Year beans and chapattis with our friend, Alison Gill (visiting from Burundi), and others, followed by a drive around Masaka to take in the New Year excitement, including a very enthusiastic mob of people waving chairs in the air in the name of Jesus!
•         Meeting a friendly chameleon called Collin and finding our personal space invaded by a very precocious chicken called Charlie, who seems to have taken up residence in our garage (quite uninvited, and now even more so, since he has developed a habit of pooing on Tim’s football equipment... Tim is therefore threatening to take definitive action, in inviting him for a roast chicken dinner, as the guest of honour!)

We are so grateful for all the support that we have received from all our friends and family, and really hope that you will keep telling us your news.  For any of you who haven’t yet checked out our Christmas serenade to you, go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qpihh1jXYSg

AND FINALLY…..

 BARMY BODAS (continued)! 

Probably the only Ugandan to actually make use of a rear view mirror!

Use It & You May Lose It!

Below is a photo many of you will know from the classic early 90s film, Home Alone. The question is, how do you elicit such a face from a child in Uganda, where having to deal with cack-handed and rather dim witted robbers is fairly common-place!

The answer is - send them to one of Dr. Sarah’s sessions on the dangers of S.T.Is!

This week saw Dr. Sarah putting her communication skills into practice by teaching all the White Eagles about the delights of infections ranging from Herpes to HIV!

Of particular effect, was Dr. Sarah’s vast array of carefully selected photographic evidence which elicited such responses as:

“Aaaayyyeeee!!! Eh eh eh – can you imagine the state of his little man, will it still work or will it drop off!??”

In the case of Donavonosis, whose side effects include auto amputation (feel free to Google pictures for yourselves), the answer was quite literally, yes it might indeed fall off, which of course was followed by many more screams, squawks and exclamations in Luganda like “Mama Wange! Mukama Sasira!” (Literal translation – “Mother of mine! Lord have mercy!”)

Altogether a successful session, and it certainly will have helped our kids some way towards reaffirming their commitment to abstinence before marriage!

AND FINALLY…..

We want to take this opportunity to introduce a new section of our blog called.....

 BARMY BODAS! 

Boda Bodas are Uganda’s motorcycle taxis, and it never ceases to amaze us the crazy things you find them loaded up with, and the complete disregard they have for any sort of road safety!

Feel free to give us your own caption, todays instalment is below! Enjoy!

Fast Food - KFCs Ugandan Supplier!

Always Look On the Bright Side of Life!

Apparently there are 2 types of people in this world: Glass half empty people and glass half full people. If you’re not sure which type you are then come to Uganda and it will no doubt become quickly apparent!

We are trying our best to be the latter, although this does, at times, take a bit of conditioning! One thing is clear, the longer we are here the better we are at looking on the lighter side of every challenge!

For example:

(1) Some might complain about having a very limited power supply. We say “hoorah” for our monthly electricity bill of only 6 pounds!

(2) Some might see a flooded football pitch as a serious obstacle to football excellence. We however welcome the opportunity for developing Masaka’s very first water sports project (and we played a competitive football match on it anyway)!

(3) Some (Sarah) might find the infestation of (killer) grasshoppers in our house a bit too much to bear. Others (Tim) see it as an opportunity to test their stalking prowess and lightning reactions, not to mention a tasty snack at the end!

(4) Some might find the idea of spending two solid days washing dirty football kits a bind.  We welcome the sense of fulfillment, and the silky smooth hands!

There are some situations where a silver lining may be hard to see. For example, our friend spent the night in a prison cell for having failed to upgrade/downgrade (you decide!) his UK driving license to a Ugandan license. We suspect his wife struggled to see the positive side, especially since he was not given a phone call, so simply didn't come home one evening, leaving her fretting all night. However, perhaps in his situation, we might see a good opportunity to practice our Luganda? And, of course, it's a great story to tell the grandchildren! Still, best get on with sorting out our driving licenses, eh?

So if you need a place to hone your sense of optimism, you are most welcome to join us in Masaka! To quote “The Life of Brian” (who, let us be clear is NOT the Messiah, but a very naughty boy), “Always look on the Bright Side of Life! Do do, do do do do do do!”

Lost in Translation? The joys of Luganda AND Sarah does some work!

Greetings friends and family, today we hope to share with you the joy and wonder of learning Luganda (the language spoken by the Baganda people who live in this area of Uganda, the kingdom of Buganda – we kid you not).  Whilst we are striving to improve, our efforts are not without associated difficulties.  A sample to whet the appetite:

Mukama Afuga: the Lord Reigns!

Mukama Afuuka: the Lord becomes...

Mukama Afuka: the Lord passes urine!

Subtle changes can make all the difference as you can see!

Luckily I think expectations for our Luganda skills is limited, so actual offense-causing is similarly limited.  It is fortunate for us that the people of Uganda are forgiving and friendly!

We also thought we might update you on what we are doing work-wise, in case you think all we do is entertain people by mispronouncing Luganda, and cruise the streets in Barry the Beefy Badboy Beast! Timmo will update you on his work another day, but I will talk a little bit about what I have been doing. 

I have been working at Kitovu hospital on the children’s ward and in outpatients, but have also been to Mulago hospital in Kampala to start to learn more about clubfoot management (using manipulation and bracing, which is cheaper and more effective than surgery). 

Working on the children’s ward involves accepting that at least 50% of my patients burst into tears immediately on seeing me, which is a bit disconcerting – I think perhaps they fear I am a ghost (perhaps I should work on the tan a bit).  And at least 70-80% of the mothers burst into laughter when I try out my Luganda.  Sigh.

But it is good working there – very rewarding, although scary at times.  I am regularly out of my depth (managing comatose malaria patients, commencing anticonvulsant drugs, scratching my head over starting TB treatment, wondering what to tell a mum whose baby appears to have a genetic disorder, trying to decide which sick children needs the oxygen concentrator most – the list goes on), but then spend most evenings fervently searching books, and the net, for management strategies and up to date research.  I am learning a lot and am really very thankful for good internet access!