RABU'S BOMBASTICAL HIMALAYAN ADVENTURES!!

Writing this in retrospect a couple of weeks after returning from my Himalayan adventure I have to pinch myself to make sure it wasn’t all a sublime dream! It’s hard to believe that I was blessed enough to see 4 of the 5 world’s highest mountains in all their glory!

From the very beginning it was one amazing experience after another. Here is the briefest of summaries!
DAY 1 -

Starting with the crazy, bone jangling jeep ride up ridiculously steep hairpin bends, bouncing away in a way that made me thank God for stematol (an anti-sickness pill) we went into Nepal to start the trek. We only walked about 10km to reach our first night’s stop, a fantastic little village with very friendly locals. The evening finished with Pa, Ma and myself in fits of giggles as we all donned are nepali woolly hats to go to bed. They really are this years must have accessory darling!

HIMALAYAN ADVENTURE - DAY 2

We woke up to beautiful views but the cloud soon rolled in. We undertook a short but energy sapping 8km STEEPER THAN STEEP climb up to our highest point of the trek, Sandakphu at 3636m (12,000ft). We arrived hoping to see amazing views but only saw banks of cloud! It even started snowing! Our lodge doubled up unexpectedly as the local discotheque which was good fun – Elaine, of course, was in her element getting her boogie on with a host of nepali geezas! Shaka de booty, de booty one time!

HIMALAYAN ADVENTURE - DAY 3

The altitude as well as a dodgey pot of coffee the day before (or was it perhaps the delights of the previous nights “rice pizza!”) was really starting to tell and by the morning Helen had been throwing up all night, and Dave and Steff had diarrhoea joining Michelle who by now was managing her altitude sickness with medication. A good day for us to be walking 22km!! My problem was quite the opposite, I’d been bunged as if someone had shoved a cork up me batty since I left Kolkata. An overdose of laxatives soon shifted the problem though!! Thankfully everyone managed it and as we arrived in the cloudy dusk that evening we wondered whether we were going to see any mountains at all!

The night at Phalut was an experience in itself. The combination of the FREEZING cold (so cold that the diesel in the Jeep froze solid), mother going to the loo about every 5 minutes and also her bed falling apart noisily (very amusing – especially dad’s sleepy response thinking it was someone knocking at the door – “hello…hello…??”) meant that little sleep was had.

HIMALAYAN ADVENTURE - DAY 4

I woke at 5:00 and immediately looked out the window to see of it was clear. Fishlips! It seemed to be cloudy. Then I realised it was simply that the windows were misted up! Hoorah it was clear indeed, we all jumped out of bed and frog-marched up the steep hill to be met by the sunrise and the most spectacular views I have ever seen and may well ever see. Words cannot describe what our eyes beheld, a panoramic view, clear as crystal of Kachendzonga all the way round to Everest, Lhotse and Makalu. Breathtaking!






It was a difficult thing to turn our backs and walk back down, but after a while we did. The rest of the day we walked down, 23km, and left the mountains behind to start walking through the lower bamboo forests and jungle.

Our stop for the night was a fabulous lodge, almost luxurious after the night in Phalut, as we had electricity for a few hours and RUNNING WATER! I enjoyed my first proper wash in 3 days!

After our usual fabulous meal, we were offered what our cooks described as “custard.” My hopes were soon dashed when they served a rubbery orange mass the taste of which can only be described as “propa mankey!” Not wanting to be rude and leave it I waited until the serving staff weren’t looking and spooned it into a sick bag. This caused much hilarity within our party and it was passed round for the others to do likewise. I knew that sick bag would come in useful sooner or later!

HIMALAYAN ADVENTURES - DAYS 5,6 & 7

We had a more leisurely finish to the trek and ambled along enjoying the lush green terraced hills, rivers and more beautiful views. At our stop that night we enjoyed the comfort of a hot shower and then the following morning drove back to Darjeeling.

In Darjeeling the next morning I opened the window to my hotel room to the most spectacular view of Kachendzonga! It was the icing on the cake to finish our Himalayan adventure! Brap brap BRAPPPPPP!!!!!!

Our 7 New Residents!

We have 7 new residents at River of Life Church, and they are of the furry nature! Last week Jack the dog (named by one of our boys who obviously didn't bother to look at its bits and see what sex it was!) gave birth to 7 puppies. I now have 6 new bredrins and 1 new sistrin! Brap!





I may however be one of the only people that is excited about this as Uganda is certainly a country where the phrase "a mans best friend" would never be used of a dog, and animals are often not well looked after. this has therefore provided me with a great opportunity to try and teach our boys to treat animals with a bit of respect! So far a couple of the boys are doing a grand effort, feeding Jack so she can produce enough milk, keeping the puppies locked up in a store and protected from wild animals and even helping me build a kennel for them to sleep in.

we're not sure what we're going to do with them all yet, but I would like us to keep one and then give the rest to others who will look after them. Anyway, I haven't named them yet so once again the challenge is set down, 7 names are needed, so let me know your ideas!

The Wonders of Technology!

This last Saturday we had our very first River of Life Church Film Night!

We showed the film Coach Carter using the projector and our PA system in the front garden of the church which is right off the main road in Nyendo. It was a fantastic event and showed what a difference to our ministries a piece of equipment like a projector can make!

The night wasn't without a few technical hitches but this is Uganda so these things are part and parcel of life. The main problem we had was that the DVD player wouldn't play the DVD so Mukisa had to race off up to Bwala to get Duncan and Mary's DVD player. Finally however, it worked!

The best thing was that over 200 people came and watched, and after I gave a short evangelistic message. It has shown the potential of such film nights and we look forward to making it a monthly fixture.

All I can say is Brap Brap and serious respec' to those who helped me get that projector, God is going to use it big style!

The Best & Worst of Uganda!!!

Well, having been back in Uganda a few weeks now I have settled back into to the swing of things. Whilst it's wonderful to be back, there are the usual challenges that go with living here such as another spell without any water in Bwala (where i am staying at the moment) and the readjustment to the wonders of Ugandan timekeeping!

This last weekend was a classic example of both the best and worst of Uganda. It was the engagement party of Emily, one of the elders of the church, so a bunch of us squashed into a coaster and trundled off to Kampala for the day.

Where the best of Uganda comes out was in the traditional badboy Ugandan 3 piece band made up of a geeza banging an African drum, another playing the traditional Ugandan guitar and then a complete nutter going raggo on a one string Ugandan violin (see the photo). It was brap-ting, I'm tellin you, serious booty shaking sensations! Of course Emily was looking lovely and then we feasted on a wide range of the best of Ugandan cuisine! Lovely jubley!




HOWEVER....I also experienced the worst of Uganda this day in the form of the classic Ugandan timekeeping! Now River of Life Church is pretty good at time-keeping, unfortunately the rest of Uganda isn't. This meant that we arrived at 11:30am, half an hour before it was supposed to start and then proceeded to sit around for 3 and a half hours waiting for everbody else!! When it did finally start 3 hours late at 3pm, the whole thing was angonisingly slow. The PA kept on breaking down, there was some guy trying to pass the time by cracking jokes that were so crap I wanted to smack him and we didn't eat until about 6:30 (having not eaten anything all day!). I drifted off more than a few times! Finally we left having been there for almost 9 hours and drove back to Masaka. I was NOT amused!!



Thankfully, church was only 4 hours long the next day!!!

The Most Horrific Tale You May Ever Hear!

There are some things in this world that make me wince at the mere thought, for example someone falling from a great height in a sitting position straight onto a red hot poker which impales them up their batty hole! There are other things that repulse me almost to the point of retching, for example the thought of eating a bowl of festy pus or licking a sweaty old granny's hairy armpit!!

Put both of these feelings together and you start to get an idea of the way I feel towards the world's most disgusting and vile creature - the cockroach! There are some things in this world that I truely believe God did not create, or if He did, have been grotesquely deformed by the devil - the cockroach is one of these. I have to be careful not to start on a long rant such is my loathing of these creatures.

So, let me recollect a harrowing and horrifying tale. It starts 2 nights ago when I was in my Bed and felt something on my head, brushing it off I thought it must be a spider. I have had such encounters many times - and the small spiders here don't worry me, so I soon fell back to sleep.

Fast forward now to last night. Once again as I was drifting off I felt something, this time on my face. As I brushed it off I heard the flap of wings. I suddenly realised it was not a spider and to my horror in the darkness of my room I saw the shaddowy figure of a gigantic flying cockroach (about the size of a small walrus!) skuttling acoss my pillow.

I sprung out of bed like a man possessed, flicked on the light and stood shivering with disgust in the centre of my room. I felt dirty and violated, not only that such a vile creature had entered the protective cacoon of my mosquito net but also that quite certainly it had been there since the previous night scuttling goodness knows where around my bed as I slept!!!

I grabbed my can of Doom and started searching for it, thanking God at the same time that the electricity was on. Oh my friends, woe betide the "kiss of death!" for the moment I voiced my thanks to God for the electricity, the light started to flicker! In complete panic I started spraying the doom everywhere trying to find the loathsome fat mama. Suddenly it jumped at me - it was a slow motion moment, and I swear I could almost see the whites of it's eyes as it came through the air. I blapsed it down and emptied about half a can of doom onto it, screaching with anger. And there it lay twitching. And no more than 2 seconds later the power went off. Praise be and all glory and thanks to Jesus! For had the power gone off but 10 seconds earlier I would have been in complete darkness not knowing where the detestible thing was and my nightmare would have been complete.

So join in my war cry now -

"death to all roaches, the filth of the earth,
death to all roaches, may you never give birth,
death to all roaches, how dare you you scum,
come into my bed, and make me feel numb,
death to all roaches, I just can't abide,
I'll strike you all down, with Doom at my side,
I'll laugh at you twitching, life ebbing away,
so death to all roaches, forever I say!"

Timmo's Personal Ponderous Proverbs - Verse 3

Greetings my monkeys! Once again it is time to delve into the book of Timmo to find yet another Ponderous Proverb that speaks of wisdom gained from interseting and sometimes unfortunate experiences. Here is verse 3!

The man that doth think that he can useth undiluted household Dettol on any bodily part will only learn a painful lesson!

To exemplify this proverb I'll tell you a little story: "Once there was a man named Shabooboo, this man whilst in the delerium of Malarial fever managed to cut one of his "golden chestnuts." The last thing he wanted was to end up with infection. He searched around for antiseptic cream or TCP but could find none. Finally he found a bottle of household Dettol in the kitchen.

Taking the Dettol and without really thinking he spalshed it on liberally without dilution. He described later that the burning he felt was as if he had dipped his golden chestnut into acid and then plunged it into the heart of the sun.

The story does not end here however as the next day he found to his dismay that layers of skin were peeling off. Thankfully, although really rather dim, he wasn't a complete moron and remebered that salt water was very healing. He thus managed to save his golden chestnut but not without learning a painful lesson."

Here endeth the lesson friends. God speed.

My New Worst Enemy!!

Many of you will know of my new acquired passion for killing rats (and by the way the ones living in our house seem to have gotton crafty and I have now gone over 2 months without getting one of the filthy ragtoes!). However the place in my heart reserved for special loathing has now been filled with another animal or insect in this case - the mosquito!

The reason for this is simple - malaria. I am just getting over my second bout since December, and this one was worse than the last (I won't go into details!) In fact, I have to say that this has not been a good week at all. On top of malaria I have also had a very itchy red rash on my heel, a toothache and finally somehow managed to cut myself in a rather delicate place. Without naming that place outright I'll simply refer to it as one of my golden chestnuts! Quadruple-Wamey!!

Anyway in the wake of this difficult week let the whole world of mosquitoes be warned of my wrath, for it will be you that will bare the brunt of what will surely become a one-man mentally crazed uncontrollable attack on you with any instrument of death and tortue I can get my hands on from cans of Doom to flame throwers and if you push me far enough, nuclear devices!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You ain't experienced real fish til you come to Uganda!

I must say I've frequented plenty a fish and chip establishment in my time but my friends if you have love for this culenary delight then you really must come to Uganda, bop down to Lake Nabugabo and let them fry you a fresh one thats still wriggling - (as you can see Jjunju Fred also highly recommnds it), and all for the equivalent of 1 pound! You know it makes sense.

East London Meets Uganda

Brap Brap!! Well what can I say about the Brampton Manor Badboy Bombastical Ugandan Adventure? In a word it was brap-ting! Painting, Demolision, Swimming, Booty-shaking, plenty of London style Banter and plenty more raggadoodoo busniess! The Brampton possy (for those of you that don't know - the school I taught at) were fantastic, working hard, taking every opportunity to experience Uganda to the fullest which included the fish eye challenge (basically sucking the juicy jelly out of fish eyes!) and a trip to Lake Nabugabo, White Eagle Style clinging on for dear life on the back of a large truck. Brampton Manor bredrins and sistrins - I salute each and every one of you - lets hope this is the first time of many! Blaps!

Timmo's Personal Ponderous Proverbs - Verse 2

welcome again bredrins and sistrins to my Personal Ponderous Proverbs. Once again I have a useful pearl of wisdom to share with you thanks to my continued leraning curve here in the Uganda Massive. Here is Verse 2:

The man who is learning Luganda and payeth particular attention to details such as pronounciation will walk the road of success. However the man who doth not learn such subtleties of language will find himself walking the road of humiliation and ridicule.

The reason for this proverb is quite simple, years ago my Ugandan brother Jjunju taught me how to say in Luganda "what's gwarnin my bredrin?" (or "what's going on geeza" to those of you not from London). However, with the slightest change in pronounciation of the word that means "bredrin" it changes to mean "wife" . Yes I think you get the point now! One of the boys finally told me the other day whilst in hysterics and I realised why I'd been getting so many strange looks. Learn from my mistake my friends, learn well.

Got Myself a Cryin, Talkin, Sleepin, Walkin, Livin baby Mercy!

Man, never thought I'd be quoting a Cliff Richard Song! Anyway I realised that I haven't actually introduced y'all to Baby Mercy, one of the newer additions to River of Life Church. Breifly her story is that she was dumped with a grandmother and spent her first few months of life living in an old saucepan, thoroughly neglected, being fed mashed up sweet potato and water! Anyway, she is now with us and from having little to no love at all now has Mama Katende looking after her (one of the women working for the project) as well as 6 sisters and about 30 brothers who fight over holding her! She is quite a little character.

The exciting thing is that she has started to talk and the other day I managed to teach her to progress from Dada to Daddy!! She hasn't managed Mama yet (suprisingly) or Timmo (less suprisingly) but we're working on it!

The Reason We Hate Rats!!

For any of you that think that I should stop my obsession with catching and killing rats and have the opinion "Ohhh, you shouldn't be so cruel" please take note of the following evidence as to why all rats must be destroyed!! It's not even as if football shirts are that tastey which is why I think they are taunting me! Although the death toll is now over 20, they keep on coming and a group seem to have taken up perminent residence inside our sofas. If I was slightly more mentally unhinged then we'd have ourselves a little sofa BBQ and listen to them squeel! Give it a few more months and I may be at that point!

Timo's Personal Ponderous Proverbs

Welcome my bredrins and sistrins to a brand new section of my Blog - Timo's Personal Ponderous Proverbs. Quite simply, every so often I will be sharing with you some of my pearls of wisdom that I have acquired since I've been out here. I have already recieved much wisdom from the Lord whilst pondering life in Uganda and these pearls will come in the form of proverbs. Here is the first:

The man who doth get sunburnt lips and puteth there suncream is wise indeed.
However the man who doth get sunburnt lips and puteth there vaseline only causes his lips to frazzle even more and is a serious fool.(Please see photo!)



There you go, be ready for another Ponderous Proverb soon and feel free to share your own!

.....and then the FEAST!!!

After winning the senior competition there was only one thing left to do - FEAST! In the name of good spirit and fair play we invited the runners up, William's Garage, as well as many of our supporters and of course all the White Eagle players. It was fantastic!

Anyway, too many words have already been spoken. I will therefore leave you with some pictures from our jubilation! You may also want to bow your heads for a few seconds in remeberence of Nigel the Cow - he truely was a very good chap! Here's to you Nige - Cheers!

Final Tournament Update 2 - The Senior Final!

Match Report 2: White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation: 3 William's Garage: 0

The Dappers know this will be a tough match. They watched the semi final between William's Garage and San Sero, and saw the way William's Garage scored 2 superb goals against a team that the Dappers only drew with in the group stage. With their junior boys losing in dramatic fasion in the mornings junior final they know that nothing less than a win and taking of Nigel the cow will be good enough.

The whistle blows and immediately the Dappers look purposeful, Crow gathers a bouncing ball on the right and from 30 yards strikes it powerfully, looking to lob the keeper. The keeper tips it over the bar. It's all round good football apprecieted by the fans who show this appreciation with loud applause and shouts of excitement. From the resultant corner Crow gets his head to the ball but sees it bounce inches wide. It's a promising start for the Dappers.

This promise is converted into a goal 5 minutes later. Another corner is delivered into the box by Walu and Bukenya, the burly Dappers central defender, rises above the rest to power the ball into the net. The crowd goes wild with some taking to the field including John Lutaaya who stuffs 10,000 shillings into Bukenyas hand in appreciation!

The Dappers have the initiative now and get their second soon after. This time a free kick from 25 yards on the left is taken with pin point accuracy by Blick who sees the keeper a few yards off his line. The keepers flailing arms are helpless to keep the ball from flying over his head and into the net for number 2! What is Blick's reward? The adulation of the fans and 10,000 shillings from the sprinting Lutaaya!

The Dappers sense weakness within the Williams Garage side now and ruthlessly expose it with a third 10 minutes before the break. A great through ball is met by none other than Fred who controls to ball with one touch then blasts it into the top left hand corner from close range. Once again the fans take the field and Lutaaya parts with another 10,000 shillings.

Half time comes and the Dappers are happy. Every player is playing well and some feel that the game could already be won.

In fact this is indeed the case, William's Garage rarely threaten in the second half and the Dappers have the ball in the net again in the 60th minute. the linesmans flag is all that stands between the Dappers and their fourth goal. In the end it stays at 3-0.

The final whistle blows and the crowd errupts. The Dappers have always looked strong but have had to work for their cow. Although on paper it looked like the tournament was always going to be theirs it is only by good preparation, hard work, great skill and fantastic team spirit that this tournament has been won. Bring on Nigel, and let the feasting begin!!!!

Final Tournament Update part 1 - The Junior Final!

The day of the finals and both The White Eagle's Bombastical Bredrins & The White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation have made it to the finals. The Bredrins found their way there courtesy of a 3-1 victory in the semis against Red Hottage Juniors and meet pre-tournament favorites Express.

Match Report 1: White Eagle's Bombastical Bredrins: 1 Express F.C: 2 (AET)

After the singing of the national anthem the teams look nervous in anticipation - both are expectant of a hard fought match. Following previous form it is Express who are the favourites. They have so far completely eclipsed all the teams they've played against scoring 28 goals whilst only conceding 1!

The first half sees the good passing and movement that we've come to expect from both teams. There are however, few chances. Those chances that there are fall to Express who force a few good saves from Alex and also hit the post.

There is a minute until half time and Express win a free kick 25 yards from the goal mouth. Jimmy steps up and spanks the ball into the top left hand corner. The whistle blows and the Bredrins leave the field with there heads down.

Into the second half and the Bredrins seem to have found a new self belief following a rousing half time talk from managers Crow and Ngobya. Within 10 minutes the scores are level. Seruwanja, moved onto the right wing from defense, skips passed 2 challenges and sprints up the wing. He rounds the Express Left back with shouts of "cross" from the sidelines. He ignores his strikers in the middle and instead dispatches a lethal long range missle into the top of the net leaving the keeper bewildered. The Bredrin's fans storm the field, it's a magical goal and a well earned equaliser.

The rest of he second half sees Express pushed back. The Bredrins full of new hope and self belief are pushing for the win. once again however, clear cut chances are few and full time comes with the teams locked together at 1-1.

Into extra time and the Bredrins, know from club spies who have watched Express in training, that Express are clinical when it comes to penalties. They therefore push for the win and push hard! All the play is in the Express half but with 10 men behind the ball their rear guard action holds firm. Penalties loom.

Into the final minute now and suddenly Express break free and launch a counter attack, The Bredrins rush back and Morris cuts down the left winger just 10 yards outside the box. The Bredrins fans look worried. Up steps Jimmy again and sends the ball high towards the goal. It's a floater - surely Alex in goal can deal with it, he punces at the ball.....the punch is weak.....the leather of the ball meets to nylon of the net....the Express fans break into a frenzy....the Bredrins players look on in disbelief and amid the craziness the final whistle blows.

It's the last kick of the match. There will be no fairy-tale ending for the Bredrins, they fall to their knees whilst the Express team run wild with excitement. It's been a long road, full of great goals, fantastic skills, strong challenges and much chanting. However, for now the White Eagle's supporters are silenced, their boys have fallen at the last hurdle. They an however, be proud of a great battle. They've given 110% until the end and to the managers every player is a hero.

Senior Semi Final - White Eagle’s Dappers of Devastation: 3 Degeneration F.C: 0

The Dappers are really struggling with sickness and injuries and a few minutes before kick-off are missing a number of key players. At the last minute however Lubyayi, Blick and Bukenya arrive and take to the field albeit in less than perfect shape.

The Dappers always knew this would be a tough match. As with their last match their opponents are a physical side. There are few clear cut chances in the first half and both sides retire for half time words of wisdom from their managers with the match goalless.

One thing that was lacking for the Dappers in the first half was penetration using the wings. Crow spent most of the first 45 minutes screaming for the ball and now in the second half he is finally getting some service. A free kick is awarded on the left, Lubyayi swings it into the penalty spot where Crow sprints to meet it. He misses the ball by the width of a flies wing but does enough to confuse the keeper and the ball bounces into the top right hand corner – the crowd erupts! 1-0.

Now that they have a goal the Dappers settle but Degeneration are still playing hard. There is a ruck in midfield and the ball is caught in a crowd of flailing legs. Crow gets his boot in and the ball is released to Yassin who sprints forward leaving he defenders for dead and deftly slides to ball home for 2-0.

Degeneration throw caution to the wind now, they must score! However, as so often happens as one team pushes, it is the other that scores. This time Blick is given a ball that splits the defence. He rounds the keeper and walks the ball in for the third. The Dappers fans are now in a frenzy, they know the game is won!

The result is confirmed with the final whistle 15 minutes later. The Dappers roll on to the final where they will meet an outstanding team - Williams Garage, who beat San Sero 2-0 in their Semi. It’s a mouth watering prospect and with a cow to be won, it's a match that both teams are relishing. Brap brap!

Junior Quarter Final - White Eagle’s Bombastical Bredrins: 8 The Tiger F.C: 0

Match Report: This quarter final sees one of the tournament’s form teams (The Bredrins) face one of the tournaments weakest sides (The Tiger F.C.) . In fact The Tiger F.C. have only qualified due to a team that could not attend.

It doesn’t take long before it’s clear what sort of an afternoon it’s going to be. Sekanjako on the right sprints up the wing gathers a bouncing ball and then lobs the keeper from 25 yards. It’s a cracking goal for 1-0.

Out of respect for the floundering Tigers I’ll summarise the rest. Muwangusi gets the second on 16 minutes with a mazy run and low shot, Umalu the third with a speculative shot that the keeper spills into his net and then Seru gets 2 before half time. 5-0.

The second half sees the introduction of some of the Bredrins smaller players including the tiny but exceptionally skilled Joshua. Despite a host of chances and the urges of the crowd, he doesn’t get his goal but does play well. It is Brian who takes 2 simple goals in the second half and Umalu with a free kick that takes the score to 8-0. It’s a romping victory but the Bredrins know they will line up against much tougher opponents in the semis.

Tournament Update 5 - White Eagle’s Dappers of Devastation: 2 San Sero: 2

Both teams in Senior Group B have won their 2 previous matches and have already qualified for the semis but both are looking for a win to boost confidence and finish top of the table.

Within minutes it is clear that San Sero want to disrupt the slick passing game of the Dappers with tough challenges and in some cases, dirty play. Within the first 15 minutes 2 yellow cards are shown. On 20 minutes Lubyayi fends off 2 bad challenges to round the last defender and slot home for a 1-0 lead.

It remains that way until 10 minutes into the second half as San Sero push up from the back and a momentary lapse in concentration at the back costs the Dappers as Kagimu blasts in the equaliser. 1-1.

Within minutes however there is a goal mouth scramble at the other end. Fred lifts the ball high and with the San Sero goalie well out of position the ball falls into the net and is met with loud cheers from the Dappers fans. 2-1.

The rest of the match can be summed up in one phrase – poor refereeing! Firstly a terrible challenge on Walu only receives a yellow when replays show it had to be red. Secondly there is a terrible offside decision that denies San Sero a good chance of their equaliser. Trying to make up for his mistake the ref awards a very dubious penalty a minute later which San Sero score to level. The Dappers are incensed but hold on for the draw they need to stay top thanks to a vastly superior goal difference. This top spot however comes at the price of some injuries due to the unsporting behaviour of San Sero. It’s clear who won't be winning the fair play award!

Tournament Update 4: White Eagles Bombastical Bredrins: 3 Machester Youngsters: 1

Match Report: The Bredrins enter the match knowing that thanks to other results in Group B, they have already qualified for the quarter finals. They also know that a another solid win would put them top of the group with an easier draw for the quarters.

The first half is a scrappy affair and the Bredrins are struggling to play the flowing football for which they are known. Of note, however, is one moment of individual skill from the star striker Serunjoje who flicks the ball over a defender and volleys the ball into the top right hand corner. Half time arrives and the score is 1-0.

Into the second half and the quality of football is better with some good passing from both teams. As Manchester push for the equaliser they are caught on the break and Serunjoje once again collects the ball to coolly finish for 2-0.

It would be easy now for the Bredrins to kill the game off but to their credit Manchester take it up a gear and a powerful Roonyesque run from midfield leads to a well earned goal. Machester are starting to look like their namesake.

The Bredrins however push to make the game safe and do so 10 minutes from time after a goal mouth scramble is finished off by Sekanjako. The game finishes 3-1, the Bredrins qualify top and it’s a hearty slaps on the backs all round.

Tournament Update 3 - White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation: 6 Ssenyange Seniors: 1

Match Report: After an emphatic win against Red Hottage the Dappers are in high spirits as they take the field. However they expect a tougher test against the burly Ssenyange team.

Lubyayi is cut down on the left. He swings the ball into the back post where it is met by the firm head of Fred who sees the ball rocket into the top corner for 1-0 and his first goal of the tournament.

Again the Dappers passing and movement is a wonder to behold, a move up the left is finished of by Javira and after just 11 minutes the Dappers are 2-0 up!

on 20 minutes Ssenyange is cut in half by a perfect ball from Blick. Yassin collects it having beaten the offside trap, rounds the keeper and slots home to take it to 3-0.

As the second half begins it's clear that Ssenyange are getting more frustrated, every time they get the ball their attack breaks down thanks to the solid defensive work of the Dappers back line. As Ssenyange push forward they are caught on the break and Yassin gets his second of the game with another good strike. 4-0.

Frutration has turned to anger and Ssenyange tempers are hot. As Crow dances past 2 players a third comes storming in to cut him down from behind. The crowd are insensed and a cheer goes up as the ref brandishes the yellow card. However, after a further 2 bad challenges in as many minutes and with Ssenyange supporters chanting "we want to see the colour of his blood" Crow wisely removes himself from the action.

Mid way through the second half and Ssenyange finally have something to cheer about. A dubious penalty decision is given for a handball that never existed. They score to bring it back to 4-1 but the Dappers aren't worried.

Rightly so as 2 minutes later Roy, on for Crow, sprints up the wing gathers a ball from midfield to leave a defender floundering. He smacks the ball past the static keeper into the bottom corner. 5-1.

The will of Ssenyange is broken now and there's still time for the Dappers to rub salt into the wounds which they do withot mercy. A strike from Javira gives him his second goal in the last minute.

The Dappers have scored 6 again and have qualified for the semis with a match to spare. They are rewarded later that night with extra portions of posho and beans. Blaps!!

Tournament Update 2 - White Eagle's Dappers of Devastation: 6 Red Hottage Seniors: 0

Match Report: The Line up for the Dappers is quite different from last year as they are plagued with injuries and lingering malaria. Thanks to a change in rules for the senior competition from an age limit to a weight and height index limit the veteran Crow comes into the mix to start on the right wing. Also Fred has recruited some of his friends on loan from Masaka Secondary School including the legendary Blick, Walu and Javira.

The match begins with some beautiful 2 touch football from the Dappers leaving the Red Hottage team chasing shadows. A Red Hottage defender is put under pressure and passes the ball back to his keeper who picks the ball up without thinking. Back Pass. Lubyayi Steps up to blast the ball into the net and after just 10 minutes it's 1-0.

The 2nd is not long in coming as the ball is passed from wing to wing culminating in a well weighted ball through to Javira who slots home number 2.

Red Hottage try to settle and get a hold on the game but the Dappers passing is in a class of its own. Just before half time another slick move sees Walu push up from left back to place the ball neatly into the corner. 3-0.

The second half begins and the Dappers are enjoying their football. Sensing the chance of a rout they coninue to push forward and Crow skins 2 players on the right before slotting the ball to Lubyayi who crosses for Blick to blast home. The crowd goes wild. 4-0.

Walu then gets his second of the game on 49 minutes with a mazy run, who could believe he's a defender! The Dappers are really teaching Red Hottage a footballing lesson! Finally with 8 minutes remaining Blick once again finishes off a series of incisive passes with a tap in. The score is 6-0, the rout is complete and here endeth the lesson!

Tournament Update 1 - White Eagle Bombastical Bredrins: 2 Blackstars: 0

Match Report: The White Eagle Bombastical Bredrins (junior team) line up against a strong Blackstars team full of promising young talent. However the Blackstars aren't the only team with talented players and the Bredrins take control of the match from the whistle with slick passing and good posession.

However, for all the posession clear cut chances are few and far between. That is until the the 31st minute when Serunjoje is bundled over just outside the box. Up steps Umalu to place the ball into the bottom left corner with the keeper left grasping at thin air. 1-0.

Into the second half and within 3 minutes a rasping shot from James is handled by the Blackstars central defender. "Penalty" is the cry form the stands and a cheer goes up as the ref obliges. Umalu steps up to the mark and dispaches the ball into the bottom right hand corner. 2-0.

From there on in it's a matter of whether the score will only remain at 2. In the end it does and the Bredrins retire after a solid performance and good opening win.

The Tournament Begins!!

Welcome my friends to this years electronic coverage of the LMC Confederations Cup of Masaka 2007! One of the main reasons I haven't been in contact over the last month has been the rigorous preparations that have gone into staging this tournament.

I'll say no more except look out for updates on our matches. Enjoy!!

I Hope y'all Enjoyed your Christmas Turkey!!

Well my bredrins and sistrins may I wish you a rather belated happy christmas and a happy new year!

Christmas here was rather strange in 35 degree celcius heat - I felt distinctly unchristmasy. For breakfast that day we had the special treat of matoke and g'nut sauce (yes - for breakfast!) but the best was yet to come! As you lot were tucking into your turkey, roast tatties, roast veg, pigs in blankets, gravy, mince pies, christmas pudding and custard I was enjoying the very christmas like meal of sausage, egg, beans and chips!! (See pictures) Can you imagine! I was told by many people I would have to make sacrifices as a missionary - they weren't wrong!

Anyway, I did enjoying being with all the White Eagle Children, Workers and Duncan and Mary. In the morning some of us visited the local hosital to give out some food and drink and pray for the sick. It was quite and eye opener and to be honest made me realise how lucky we all are - therefore I suppose I shouldn't really complain about my Christmas meal!

I hope you all have a seriously bombastical and blessed 2007!

And the winner is....

Well, can you imagine that the winner of this Banzai challnege is in fact my very own parents! The answer was in fact (b) goats intestines.

I have enjoyed both flying ants and grasshoppers since being here and as for the rat poo, I discovered it half way through tucking into a plate of noodles! Nice! By the way with respect to the rats we've now killed 5, the last of which I discovered on my bed! However the fat mama rat which we haven't caught yet must be gettin jiggy cos there always seems to be more baby rats. I think we'll have a tribal dance around its body when we finally catch the retched ting!