Banzai 2006 Continues...

Welcome to this edition of Banzai Uganda. Today's challenge is very simple. The question is: which of the following 4 things has Rabu NOT had as part of his diet whilst in Uganda?
(a) Rats poo
(b) Goats Intestines
(c) Fried Termites
(d) Fried Grasshoppers

All 4 have accompanying photos above. The winner will simply be the first with the corret answer! This weeks prize is the princely sum of TEN SHILLINGS!!!! Blaps.

What's the Best Way To Catch a Rat?

Those who have been reading my previous blogs will know that me and the boys have not been the only residents at the boys home. The family of rats however is now minus 2 thanks to Ugandan inginuity! It's simple really, get a dead fish, put it on a piece of cardboard, then smother the cardboard with strong glue. Hey presto - 12 hours later 2 of the little critters found themselves in a sticky situation! Rat stew anyone?

And The Winner Is....

Well my friends, the answer to this little Banzai challenge is in fact that I had the pleasure of travelling in such a car with 11 people (although I'm sure you could possibly get more in!). Including me that is 12 so therefore cousin Jonathan - Well done bredrin! You can choose from the Banzai challenge above which of the 4 delicacies you would like as a prize!!!

To explain: 2 in the drivers seat, 2 adults and 1 child in the passenger seat, and 6 in the back (1 of them a child) sitting on each others laps! How I love Uganda!!

Your Second Challenge – Banzai 2006 Ugandan Stylee

Welcome to Banzai 2006 my friends! In respect of my former days with Mr Andru Keel at the Forest Hill Community Church massive, Banzai returns, and this time with a Ugandan flavour.

The first challenge is to guess how many people can fit into the taxi in the photo and then travel at dangerous speed for a distance of 1.5 miles without being stopped by the police and without anyone dying! There are no options in this challenge, you just have to guess a figure.

The answer will come next time with an explanation of where everyone sat. The lucky contestant with the correct answer will win one of the things that will feature in the next Banzai challenge so do tune in next time!

(P.S. the number can include up to 2 children but no more, the rest being adults, oh, and no midgets!)

Settling in to Life with the Boys

Despite the crazily early starts I’m settling in to life at the new boys home. The only main problem that we have is a family of rats! Last night I walked into the kitchen to discover the fat mama climbing the wall and disappearing through a hole. Rats that climb walls – hmmm… they must be crazy mutant rats with special powers.

Also, after being so excited about having a flushing loo we discovered that it struggles to flush anything solid! That means there can be special presents waiting for you if the previous resident was too lazy to sort it out and this leads to a need of “mashing” with the loo brush! I can hear the groans of disgust from here so I’ll stop there on that one!

The 2 photos are of the house warming party we had last week and also of my lovely room. Now I’ve got all my photos up I’m feeling right at home!

FISHLIPS!!!

Those of you who know me well will know that the term “fishlips” is a favourite of mine. Many times I have searched for a graphic illustration of this fabulous phrase and after years of struggling to find one that does it justice, I feel that with this photo my quest can finally end!!

(By the way, the woman is Natalie, Duncan and Mary’s cook, don’t ask me what the fish was called, we munched it before it had a chance to tell us! I saved its lips, ready as a prize for your second challenge which will come next time…)

Table manners?? Ha...Don’t be silly!

Well, I’m into my first week as “daddy”. I’ll be honest, much as I’m enjoying it, I’m absolutely knackered!! This is mainly because of the early morning starts at 5:50am to get the boys up and make them breakfast, then pack them off to school! Can you imagine, me, Tim Crow getting up in the hour of 5!!!! Anyway, other then the early starts it’s great to be with the boys.

I’m doing my responsible bit, setting up cleaning rotas, helping with homework and even the odd bed time story! Then of course I’ve been teaching them the art of table manners “RABU style” as this photo demonstrates!!

Who's The Daddy?!

So this has been an exciting few days! This week we have decided to rent a new home for the boys. Until now they’ve been staying in their simple rooms down at the church. We’ve decided to move the boys into a more homely environment into the flat above where the White Eagle Girls are staying, which includes a proper lounge, dining room, bathroom and FLUSHING TOILET!! They will stay here for a year until the next phase of their home is built.

Anyway, next week 14 of the younger boys will move in and guess who’s moving in with them to be the Daddy? None other than my rudeboy self! Soon to be a man of responsibility, I’ve realised it may mean I have to start acting my age. Lord help me!

Right Arm Round the Wicket – 6 to Come!

With my growing love of cricket over the last few years I thought it was time to introduce the boys to a game other than my beloved football! As it was raining we played indoors and the boys took to it very quickly (although some of the bowling actions were pretty funky to say the least!)

Unfortunately it was brought to an abrupt end when one of the boys was accused of tampering with the ball. The umpires pronounced the batting side the winners by default and now the ICC has launched an investigation. (To tell the truth the bat snapped in half when one of the boys went for a 6 and the bottom half nearly took Rob’s head off!)

How to Keep Your Skin Youthful!

Last weekend in celebration of my friends Rob and Kat Davies being here, we went to Lake Nabugabo. We travelled as we always do when going to the lake, on the back of a massive lorry, dancing and shouting all the way!

The day was taken up with swimming, playing volleyball, and once again eating spectacular amounts of pork and rice! There were many photos I could use to sum up the day of jubilations but decided on this one. (Please note that this Ugandan Mudpack is now available from Rabu Industries at the bargain price of £9.99 a pot! Buy one today and get your own free bag of monkey balls!)

The Pork Factor - A Meaty Suprise!!

Yesterday was independence day here in Uganda. To celebrate we went to the farm and FEASTED on pork. I highlight the word feasted because it was a feast in more ways than one!

Firstly we ate pork in every shape and form. For the first phase we had BBQ pork (2 large skewers each – see photo!). The second phase was fried pork with onion and cabbage. The third and final phase was stewed pork with mountains of rice, matoke and sweet potato. It was the sweetest pork you could ever imagine, although today I’m paying slightly for it, as is everyone else in this internet café if you know what I mean!! (Special smells my friends, special smells!)

There was also a feast for the eyes as I visited the piggery on the farm. When I came to the pen of the fattest daddee of all pigs I encountered an amazing site. So amazing I’ve given it its own blog entry below….behold the wonder my bredrins and sistrins, of what was the crowning glory of my day of meaty suprises!

The reason that River Of Life pigs have such large litters!

Check out this fat daddee - He's rather large in more ways than one! Ai!

..and the winner is...

Well, I have been impressed with the response to your first task. Many of the names impressed me greatly so in order to crown the winner a panel of judges has been assembled from throughout the land of Uganda.

We have decided that my newest bredrin is to be called.....DUNDOOZA (with greatest respec to Jeza the original). Therefore Jonny, who first suggested it, well done, 5 special fried blaps for you and a bag of grasshoppers on my return!

(p.s. after all that it seems Dundooza no longer wants to be my bredrin and I haven't seen him since. Perhaps it was the special smell i created that night we first met?)

Wash Day for Timothy!

Well, the realities of life in Uganda are setting in! This week the electricity and water have been absolutely shocking. Generally the electricity is on one day, off the next and the water is even more erratic. After almost 3 days without running water I turned to this large basin of rainwater to have a proper wash. Praise God it’s the rainy season!

P.s. in my last entry when I said Bob Marley was playing in the lounge I meant on my laptop – not the real reincarnate man himself, although that would’ve been pretty Rhharetid!

Your First Task – Name my Newest Bredrin!

The other night I was sitting on the toilet, as you do when you’ve eaten large amounts of matoke, goat stew and cabbage, when I heard a noise. I looked behind me and lo and behold I saw this little fella. He is one of our resident geckos. At first I was going to call him Graham but then thought why not let you decide! So answers please, what shall I call my newest bredrin? If it helps, at the time we met Bob Marley was playing in the background in the lounge so I believe him to be a lover of all tings reggae. He has good taste. Blaps!

Greetings from the Uganda masive!

Easy now bredrins and sistrins! I have arrived, and apart from my case being lost at the airport for about an hour until some rudeboy ran back in with it after trying to teef it, things have been chilled!

On Saturday we had a wedding at the church which was great fun (apart from the fact that it started 3 hours late - african timing hasn't changed!). I witnessed the hacking up of the cow in preparation - a very intereting event especially when they got the intestines and started squeezing all the poo out! It was fantastic like some sort of poo cannon squirting all over the place, i gave the intestines a miss but enjoyed feasting on its liver mmmmm! Attached is a photo of me and some of the boys cooking it! Hope y'all are good. Take it easy.

The White Eagle Boys

Easy now!

Easy now bredrins and sistrins, welcome to Rabu's Bombastical Badboy Blog! I leave for Uganda in just a few days now and I thought that setting up a blog site would be useful to update y'all on wha' gwarn wid Rabu! So here it is, I hope you will enjoy the feast of adventures that will be recollected over this coming year! BLAPS!